Good news! Even though I'm still dealing with some anxiety, the bad dreams have not returned since I wrote about one in a prior post. It may benefit me to start a dream diary so I can purge the memories of dreams and free myself. I'll write down all of them, good and bad. I can't say that I'll read what I've written about dreams. This exercise is solely to free my mind, but who knows, maybe one day I will read some of them again.
Since I'm doing well writing in my blogs, I can't see not being equally successful writing in a private diary. As a matter of fact, I think it will be very good for me on many levels.
Today I ate breakfast around 11:30am. Woke up feeling a little down about some news I had gotten yesterday, so I avoided eating when my body cued me around 10am. I talked on the phone for a bit and started preparations for the day. Again, my body cued me to eat, only stronger this time. My body's ready to be fed. This is fabulous. I chose not to give in to my mild depression and refused to ignore my body again. I prepared a light breakfast consisting of two slices of cheese toast and a cup of unsweetened tea. For lunch I plan to eat two scrambled eggs with a little salt and pepper and unsweetened tea. I'm not sure about dinner yet.
It is 3:02pm. I've just eaten lunch which consisted of two scrambled eggs, left over fried okra and a cup of unsweetened tea. I don't consume much caffeine. In all honesty, I try to avoid it most days because I'm caffeine sensitive. It makes me feel a little loopy. However, I am not opposed to the occasional Pepsi or Dr. Pepper.
I've decided to try exercising a little today. Palates is the choice for today. It's too cold and rainy for a walk around the neighborhood. I hate to admit it, but I haven't walked or done any kind of exercise for a very long time. So, I'll start off with 10-15 minutes. I am losing weight, a little at a time. It can only be attributed to changes in my eating habits. Now that I am not gorging myself every night and slowly increasing caloric intake by day, my body is able to digest and process better. I'm down almost 100 lbs., over a period of 3 years.
I think it would be nice to go walking a couple times a week. My son would enjoy that a lot. He loves walking around our neighborhood and seeing the sights. It would be good for both of us.
Tomorrow morning I will get on the scale, which I just found the other day. I probably won't post my weight at this time, but I will share with you how much weight I'm losing over time.
For the first time in these past couple years I feel like I am really going to conquer NES and a few other issues in my life. I can't describe how wonderful this feels. I'm going to continue holding on to hope, prayer, doing and believing positive change will happen.
This is a very positive post, so good to hear that you are feeling the feeling of hunger during the a.m. and it's wonderful that you were able to eat instead of depression getting in the way. Depression worsens for me, if I don't eat. When I am depressed, I have no appetite, so it tends to work as a downward spiral if I don't eat right.
ReplyDeleteYes depression is the worst thing ever. When I felt the depression coming on I knew if I did not make a concerted effort to eat I'd throw myself off and have to fight my way back again. Sometimes is seems like I'm a yo-yo or on a mad roller coaster ride. Writing about NES daily really helps. It makes me feel that I have to be accountable instead of hiding and eating in the shadows. It also feeds my need to be more observant of my behavior and more honest with myself.
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