Saturday, January 2, 2016

Friday, January 1, 2016

We Did It! 2015 Reflection

We made it through another holiday season. How are you doing? I wait patiently for your answers. I know I can't hear you, but I sense some of you are quietly answering. I hope you are doing well. I especially hope ED was not the center of attention this holiday season. If ED was, than let's begin a new. Let's not focus on yesterday. Yesterday's gone. Let's not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. I will say this much for tomorrow, it is the first day of the rest of our lives. Have you ever thought of that? Yeah, tomorrow is the 1st day of the rest of our lives. Wow, we get a lot of fresh starts don't we.

I'm doing well. Happy to see 2016. Last year started off being pretty intense, but soon became a series of beautiful experiences. Over the past few years I've been going through many positive changes and learning more about myself as well as my past. The process of healing from my past...well, it's been eye opening and life changing. It's really better than that, but I don't have the words to express just how wonderful challenging it has been. I guess I'm too caught up in being grateful. I'll take that for now. Maybe the words will come later...than again, maybe not. Maybe I've said just enough.

Out of the past three years being on this journey, 2015 was definitely the year of putting away the old self and bringing in the new. It's been a matter of shedding the old state of mind  and being introduced to the new state of mind. The old state of mind made it difficult to want better for myself, love myself and commit to doing healthy things for myself. The most difficult was shedding unhealthy relationships. What can I say, it's hard to want good when all you know is bad. I didn't know what good felt like or looked like, not really. Growing up, my only examples were, "Leave It to Beaver", "The Andy Griffith Show" and "The Cosby Show." Isn't that something. How can we want better when we don't know what better feels like?

There were many firsts last year. One being my commitment to self and to loving myself. I'm able to enjoy getting to know myself intimately. Intimate meaning to know myself below the surface, seeing past flesh and bone; past the carefully orchestrated, finely tuned niceties of a well crafted persona. I've been able to take a long look at self. The good, the bad, the bitter the sad and happiness. I remember what happiness felt like before it all changed. And I'm glad I recognize true happiness' return.

The holiday season has come to it's end. Thank goodness. It's been a good season. I've had a few bumps, but I'm still here and I'm still making strides. Life is not going to be perfect, but it can be a heck of a lot better. That's what I'm looking forward to...better.

I can't begin to imagine what this year holds. I am curious and hopeful and I'm also smart enough to know that I don't need to worry about it. I'm going to take it one day at a time. That's as much as I can handle.

I hope today is going well for you and I hope tomorrow is even better.

Well, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Goodnight, blessings and happy new beginnings.