I've been scouting around looking for NES support groups with little luck. There is one lovely group that I've recently encountered that deal with eating disorders of all kinds. They didn't have much about NES. I posted on their wall and soon got a response from a couple lovely people who were very interested in my sharing on their page. I think it is awfully kind of them to allowed me to post this blog. Not sure how many from their page may read it, but I'm not so much worried about growing an audience as I am reaching people who are surviving or recovering from NES as well as those who are interested in knowing what it's like to live with NES in general.
As far as some support groups specifically for NES, there is little to no activity. I wonder if they are where I was not too long ago. In a place where they want to talk about NES, but don't have a lot to say about it or can't quite put into words their experience. I believe one day they will find their voices as I have and will be able to share much more. I certainly hope more studies are done on NES. I would love to be part of the committee that creates the instruments (questionnaires) for the studies. As you can tell, one of my super sized interests is human studies. I just can't get enough. That would explain why I spend so much time assessing myself and attempt to share my experience with NES from a whole person point of view. I think it is important to not only focus on the traits and habits of eating disorders, but the underlying root cause and mental state of a person who has an eating disorder. Eating disorders do not happen over night. It takes a period of time and number of circumstances before becoming a full blown eating disorder. I hope medical professionals are leading patients and clients into the realm of figuring out how their eating disorders developed. Retracing the development of an eating disorder may very well be the road map to recovery.
Anyone who has suffered trauma of any sort should be screened for the potential of having or developing an eating disorder. I'm sure there are several variables that can be red-flagged as showing high or measurable potential for developing an eating disorder. Is this sort of thing in existence yet? I don't know. I'll have to check into that.
Anorexia is diagnosed when a person reaches a dangerously low body mass index. Wouldn't it be wonderful if a diagnosis could be rendered well before the low occurs. It seems to me that a person would stand a better chance of turning things around if they could get an earlier diagnosis and treatment. Better to know sooner than later...don't you think?
I'm still going to look for NES support groups online and local. Come to think of it, I would imagine many with NES symptoms are probably going to binging/purging/Bulimia support groups instead. That may be the ticket.
Time to turn in. Before I go, here's my eating update. Last night I could not fight off the urge to have my snack, so I did. It was a little smaller than usual, but not healthy...more baby steps. This morning I had a sudden urge to eat right around 8:30am. I ate a pack of peanut butter crackers and water. I wanted something else to eat around 10:30, but could not stomach the thought of making eggs or a sandwich, so I grabbed another pack of peanut butter crackers and had more water. Unfortunately, I forgot to eat this afternoon. No physical cues. For dinner I cooked a veggie, pasta, smoked turkey sausage dish which left me feeling satisfied for now. I can pretty much tell that I am going to want a snack tonight. I call feel it already. So, I will reserve a little of my dinner for my late night snack.
Oh, one other thing. I've been keeping up with my 5 minute exercise routine and I've added affirmation time after the fact. I don't know if this will work. My goal is to increase my awareness of healthy pleasures. Right after I complete my exercise, I take a few deep breaths and lie still, taking note of how my body feels after exercising. Then I say affirming things to myself, such as, "I am worthy of feeling good," "I love myself and want to do good things for my mind, body and spirit." After I say my affirmation I return to my daily duties. This practice encourages me to take more time for myself as I learn to enjoy being kinder to myself.
I have been abusive to myself in the past, it was a way of life. Recently, within the past two years, a true crack began to develop in my self talk. It dawned on me that God didn't create me to be garbage, that he must have had good things in mind when he created me, just like every other person- and if I could look kindly upon a homeless drug addict homeless person, I could actually do the same for the person I was given to be. I used to understand this as an idea, but to actually feel like I had some value, is a new thing.
ReplyDeleteI think we all are abusive to ourselves on some level. Having an eating disorder is abuse to one's self even if we don't recognize it. That is why part of our journey should be learning to love ourselves. As you lovingly point out. There is a difference between understanding the concept of loving yourself and actually putting it into practice. It's not easy, but given time it will become easier if we are actually able to see ourselves as worthy of the love that we so willingly give to others. Thank you for sharing your thought, my friend.
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