In the body of the poem you will see text in different colors. Each color represents a particular person/character. I will describe each person/character, so you can get a feel for the depth of this poem. It is difficult to translate feelings when done on paper. I will do my best to convey those feelings to you.
I am in the process of recording this poem. I've taken it to the studio once already, but a few of the character voices did not go well. My plan is to take it to the studio one more time and pray that everything falls into place.
Here are the characters of the poem:
Grey - shadowy dark evil male - heavy raspy voice
Dark Blue - friend or family member
Light Blue - shadowy evil female - soft hissing voice
Orange - Little girl 2 or 3 years old
I hope that you are able to imagine the voices while reading this poem.
What’s that noise?
What noise?
Nevermind.
Where is it?
Find it!
Here
I am.
It must be stopped…
Destroyed.
You want to destroy it?
Find it.
Wait!
There it is…
It?! Don’t you mean who?
Who?
Yes…
A little girl,
Girl…
Over there.
Where?
There…
Here.
Can you hear her?
No…
Can’t you hear?
No…
Listen…
NO!!!
We’ll destroy it.
Why?
We loathe it.
Why?
Not perfect.
Tear it apart.
Put it together.
Is she alive?
No…not really.
Yes
I am.
Look at it!
Hideous,
monstrous…grotesque,
A real life
Frankenstein.
People will run and
scream.
Don’t say that…she’s
beautiful.
Retched!
Imperfect!
Undesirable…Unforgivably…Useless!
Worthless!
Abomination!
Not good enough.
Not like us.
Send it back.
Back to where?
We don’t care!
You can have it.
But she’s yours.
We don’t want it.
But she’s here.
No it isn’t.
I
am here.
We’ll get another.
Let her stay.
It’ll be better.
She’ll be good…I know she
will.
We don’t want it.
Mommy…daddy? (echo)
Indescribably intense and perfectly beautiful. Your words are mine, words that have been stuck inside me for 20+ years. Thank you for putting pen to paper and being brave enough to say it all so amazingly. Can't wait to read more. ~ Kerri <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Kerri! Your words free me. I often worry about the things that I write and how my words will affect others. I want so much to touch the lives of those who have suffered or are suffering like I did and say it's going to be okay. I had no one to talk to and no where to go. Family members knew something was wrong, but could not figure out what to do. No help. I love your words, but am deeply grieved by the fact that you know my story so well.
ReplyDelete...Chilling...I can feel the fear and the anger, the loss, the pain. So sad...Alyce.
ReplyDeleteYes, that was my childhood. The physical abuse ended in my teens, but the emotional abuse carried on until they died.
DeleteThe fact that you are sharing is a breakthrough. You are on a different level, and there are more miracles to come out of this. Anything that was ever done by others can have no impact on you once you discover that the only real power is inside you. all external forces self-distruct when that power shines through your every pore. Darkness cannot drive our darkness, remember? Only light can do that. and that light is inside your soul. so God bless! I healed a little more today, thanks to you...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sveta. Perhaps that is why I feel the way I feel since posting everyday. Taking the time to share my ups and my downs is a cleansing experience. I never equated it to being a breakthrough. Thank you for pointing that out to me. Amazing, the power of perception. It's such a blessing to me when readers make comments. I get to see things that I may not otherwise notice and I get to hear a little about the reader. I hope my blog will become a safe place for people to openly talk about their eating struggles and the issues behind them. Please feel free to share my blog with others.
DeleteMany blessings to you :-) I am so glad that you received a little more healing today. I received healing from your words as well. The understanding is healing to me. To be taken seriously. To talk to someone who knows what it's like means the world to me. I'm also very glad that we met. :-)
Sveta, I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and joining. And I especially appreciate your comment. Thank you and God bless.