March 7, 2014

Good news! Even though I'm still dealing with some anxiety, the bad dreams have not returned since I wrote about one in a prior post. It may benefit me to start a dream diary so I can purge the memories of dreams and free myself. I'll write down all of them, good and bad. I can't say that I'll read what I've written about dreams. This exercise is solely to free my mind, but who knows, maybe one day I will read some of them again.


Since I'm doing well writing in my blogs, I can't see not being equally successful writing in a private diary. As a matter of fact, I think it will be very good for me on many levels.


Today I ate breakfast around 11:30am. Woke up feeling a little down about some news I had gotten yesterday, so I avoided eating when my body cued me around 10am. I talked on the phone for a bit and started preparations for the day. Again, my body cued me to eat, only stronger this time. My body's ready to be fed. This is fabulous. I chose not to give in to my mild depression and refused to ignore my body again. I prepared a light breakfast consisting of two slices of cheese toast and a cup of unsweetened tea. For lunch I plan to eat two scrambled eggs with a little salt and pepper and unsweetened tea. I'm not sure about dinner yet.


It is 3:02pm. I've just eaten lunch which consisted of two scrambled eggs, left over fried okra and a cup of unsweetened tea. I don't consume much caffeine. In all honesty, I try to avoid it most days because I'm caffeine sensitive. It makes me feel a little loopy. However, I am not opposed to the occasional Pepsi or Dr. Pepper.


I've decided to try exercising a little today. Palates is the choice for today. It's too cold and rainy for a walk around the neighborhood. I hate to admit it, but I haven't walked or done any kind of exercise for a very long time. So, I'll start off with 10-15 minutes. I am losing weight, a little at a time. It can only be attributed to changes in my eating habits. Now that I am not gorging myself every night and slowly increasing caloric intake by day, my body is able to digest and process better. I'm down almost 100 lbs., over a period of 3 years.


I think it would be nice to go walking a couple times a week. My son would enjoy that a lot. He loves walking around our neighborhood and seeing the sights. It would be good for both of us.


Tomorrow morning I will get on the scale, which I just found the other day. I probably won't post my weight at this time, but I will share with you how much weight I'm losing over time.


For the first time in these past couple years I feel like I am really going to conquer NES and a few other issues in my life. I can't describe how wonderful this feels. I'm going to continue holding on to hope, prayer, doing and believing positive change will happen.