For the past few weeks, I've attempted
to do some soul searching, and I still can’t
put my finger on why I'm struggling with
daily exercise. Exercise had become such a joy to do. I almost never let anything
stop me. Even on the hard nights, I was
committed to doing at least 15 minutes. I wish I could identify the problem. I
can’t even remember when the problem
started. I think about exercise. I
genuinely want to exercise. I tell myself
I need to exercise, and then I do nothing.
My anxiety has gone down quite a bit. I was
able to teach and present last week without feeling like the world was about to
cave in on me. I think I’m finally developing the process I need to do public
speaking engagements more regularly. I also continue doing well with eating. I’ve
not binged since the last time I mentioned nor have I starved myself. I’ve indulged
in soft-serve cones from McDonald’s here lately. It’s become my favorite Summertime
treat. Even still, I’m mindful of what I eat.
I’ve not gone back to church since I had the
mini-binge after service. I miss going, but I will not force myself to be part
of a group that does not want me. I had enough of that as a child. I promised
myself when I grew up I would not willingly be subject to that kind of treatment.
Why should I go to church every Sunday with a smile on my face only to have it wiped
away by being reminded how much I don’t belong? How dare those people try to make
me feel I’m not good enough. I even endured rejection when I opened my heart
and my home to a few of the members. I’ve come way to far to fall back into
that trap. I am good enough. I know that for a fact and no one can tell me
different. Hmph.
So now that I’ve released, I put my soapbox away,
and am left with the conundrum, what next. How do I regroup and regain control
again? I don’t know. While I figure it out, I will continue to focus on the
good.
One size fits most (OSFM). Have you ever seen these letters on a garment that you've purchased? I have. In the past it used to be One size fits all, but with the rise of clinical obesity and our growing girth the label was changed to "fit" a certain population. So where do you go when you don't fit the plus, plus, plus sized mold? I don't think I have a true answer for this question as I've only just realized that I once was one who did not "fit." I sit and stare at the words I just typed because it didn't dawn on me that there were few things/places/spaces that I could actually fit.
The other day I realized that I am more comfortable in the world. How I came to realize this was during an outing. There were folding chairs at an event my son and I attended. Folding chairs are something that I avoid for fear of embarrassment. I sat carefully sat on one as there were no other seating available. I was comfortable and I did not fear falling. Seating of any kind can be questionable for some of us. Even something as everyday as using public bathrooms. For years I levitated towards the handicap stalls because they were bigger. A couple days ago, I walked into a regular stall. It wasn't long before I realized it felt normal. That may not seem like anything to some, but for me, it was a revelation. I don't judge my progress by scales or by looks. I've been measuring my progress mainly by how I feel. Can I get around better? Do I have more energy? Do I get out of breath while shopping? That sort of thing. Sometimes I take not of how my clothes fit, but that could change with one moment of bloating and cramps. I never imagined I would see progress in the confines of a bathroom stall. That was a real wakeup call for me and a bitter sweet occasion as I am still larger than I want to be, yet smaller than I've been for the past 16 years.
It's safe to say that we do not live in a one size fits all world. It's really one size fits most and that largely depends on where you are. Well...I continue my journey and give thanks for every day I eat well and every night I don't binge.
Moving for life and fitting in...
Hey everybody! How are you doing? I'm not feeling so good today. Just a bit under the weather and a little tired of the rain. We've been getting more rain than usual this season or at least if seams that way. Feeling a little glum, but not diving into depression or anything like that. What I need are a few sun filled days and mild temps.
I hope you've had a good week so far. My week as has been. Busy for the most part. I've been searching YouTube for more exercise videos. Some of them are okay. Most are what we've already seen and there are some pretty good gems out there like Jack La Lanne and Jane Fonda.
Sometimes I get a little depressed when looking for exercise videos. Last week was one of those weeks. I wanted to find a series of videos for beginners, something done from a standing position preferably. I still love doing my chair exercises. I just hoped to find something equally as gentle on the joints from a standing position. I also want to share videos that celebrate all body types and sizes. I did find a few videos, but the titles were so derogatory that I dare not post them. I hate seeing titles like "Exercise for Morbidly Obese" or "Beginner Exercises for Overweight People." Why can't it just be Beginner exercises and show people of all shapes and sizes doing the exercises. Okay...okay...if we lived in a perfect world.
Last week I started sharing belly dancing videos because it's something I find interesting and would love to learn how to do. I also thought these types of videos would be fun to share. The first belly dance video was a tutorial on warm-ups. This week I found a 10 minute instructional video on hip movement that I fell in love with. The woman dancing is a plus sized beauty. She's so confident in her skin. I want to be as confident in my own skin. This weekend I want to begin learning how to really celebrate my body at the size I am at right now. Maybe this will help me cope with the summertime shedding of layers and having to become more comfortable being out and about more.
This weeks video is a Belly Dance Tutorial : *HIP MOVEMENTS* Please remember to do the warm up video from last week before beginning this weeks tutorial. The two videos combined give you approximately 20 minutes of movement. Belly Dance Warm Up Exercises and Drills
Wow! These weeks are going by fast. When is the official first day of Summer? How's your weather. It's been in the 80s here. Good walking weather.
This week has been very busy. Lots of new projects and a rigorous schedule. I'm glad to say that I've been doing well with my eating. I've have not starved myself nor have I binged. I did have a close call one night this week. I wanted very much to go out late night to get some ice cream. Fortunately I was able to work my way out of the craving. I had to eat another small snack (a non sweet snack), but it was satisfying, so I did not scan the kitchen for more treat. Not many treats floating around my kitchen these days. Unless you want to count bananas, fruit cups and the occasional ice cream bar which for some odd reason doesn't trigger me to binge like a half gallon does. Not sure why. Also, I've been sure to keep lots of tuna and chicken for quick salad wraps for on the go and snacks. My son's enjoying having wraps to go.
I've been exercising, but have not taken any more walks. My son did have a neurology appointment at the children's hospital today. I walked pretty briskly to my surprise and felt really good during and afterward. That being said, I wish I could commit to working out twice a day as I said I would do. I don't have any excuses. I can make the time and when I do, I still enjoy my regular late night workout. All in all, I feel like I'm doing well. Perhaps I'll try working out twice a day for one day per week to start. That may be where the walking comes in. Well see...
I'm still working on my ability to be out and about without feeling self conscious now that it's warmer. Can I tell you how tempted I've been to wear a light jacket if only I could get away with it in 80 degree weather. All I need is to go out in a jacket and have a hot flash on top of that. Not happening. Anyway. I've been going through my closet looking for long flowing shirts to go with my newest obsession...leggings. I realize that I'll never be satisfied with the length of my shirts, so I'm going to make a point to get to my local remnant store to purchase some fabric and needles for my sewing machine. I'm going to design my own look. That's right! To celebrate my graduation from oversized, ratty jeans to leggings. Some of the leggings are a larger size so they'll be a little lose, but some I've purchased in the right size and they really fit. Those are the ones I'm most conscious about wearing long shirts with. Still not quite used to my clothes actually being the right size.
Anyway, on to the exercise portion of the evening. So far we've had stretching, walking, mild cardio, dance and yoga videos. Let's see if we can do something a little different this week. I'm still doing the walking and yoga videos, but I'm always up for something new.
I'm thinking that I will make it a point to get up a little earlier so my son and I can go to the track one morning while temps are still pretty cool. Hmmm. I know of a track near by, I need to check if they allow entry when school is not in session. At least I won't feel totally exposed on the track as I would walking around my neighborhood.
I'll give you an update on the track next week.
Meanwhile on with the video...
For this week I'd like to do something different. So lets begin learning how to belly dance! I've heard over the years that belly dancing is a good exercise. I'm all for learning a new dance. I don't dance that much so this should be something fun.
Since this is something new, I'm going to start out with a proper warm up for belly dancing. No matter what kind of exercise we do there should always start with a warm up and end with a cool down. Remember to have a drink of water before you start and keep some near by if you need a sip during your workout.
I feel a little inspired to get something jingly to wear around my hips. I'll look for something while out next week or I could go real cheap and tie my keys to a scarf. LOL
Okay, I'm ready to shimmy...
Belly Dance Warm Up Exercises and Drills - Enjoy!!
For the past few weeks even up until yesterday I have been on an emotional high. Everyday filled with promise and every evening marked the end of a very productive and successful day. Today I'm on a low. I woke up this way. I'm feeling uneasy and filled with self doubt, even regret for some of the projects I started last week. I pulled myself out of bed and begrudgingly went on with my day. What I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I probably would have if I didn't have my son to look after.
I've been doing so well for the past few months. Damn! I want to keep the good going, but I'm starting to numb out. I wonder what triggered it this time. Well, good news...I'm not going to starve myself today and there's not much in my pantry to trigger or contribute to a binge. Depending on how strong the pull, I may dig deep to find that one self soothing tidbit. I already have my night snack ready. I feel a little better just knowing what it's going to be. I am so glad I don't have any of my old favorite snacks lying around. I even got rid of the stuff that was in the freezer for fear that I would thaw it all out in a desperate moment.
This feeling comes and it goes. I think this is the longest I've been okay since starting the recovery process. Typically I don't like to talk about it and that's why I haven't talked about it, but I guess I need to get it off my chest and out of my head. I've worked so hard to face my emotions, wanting to be brave and standing firm until I crumble into a quivering mess. I've been good about pulling it together and keeping it together most days. I'm having to remind myself that the peace I felt is real and I know it will come back.
I really have this feeling. It's like fighting some sort of gravitational pull. That proverbial tug at my shirt tail just as I start to take flight. There's that throbbing fear of freedom as in becomes ever more present in my life.
The only thing I can think of is my fear of losing weight, exposing myself to attention that I'm not able to handle well. It's also the anniversary of the time shortly after my mom's passing. I was left to take care of my dad who took great pleasure in inflicting emotional pain as much as possible every chance he got. My mom was no longer around and he needed to have a victim. Okay...enough of that.
I feel good about what I cooked for dinner tonight. It wasn't much. I have a little left over jambalaya, so I thought I'd make a few salmon cakes to go with it. I'm cutting diary out of my son's diet because it seems to irritate his gut. So I made my salmon cakes gluten free and dairy free. This is a first. I'm an egg baby and have always put egg in fritters, meat cakes, burgers and the like. As a matter of fact, I made burgers last week and didn't use egg or flour. They turned out to be quite delicious and my son's gut did not get irritated.
There is a ray of sunshine in the fog. I know this bad feeling will end as it has a thousand times before. So today has been a little bit of a low. I'm glad I decided to write about it. I'm feeling a little better than I did earlier.
Continuing to fight this fight.
By the way...I still did my workout Saturday night. My mind tried to talk me out of it because my son and I participated in the walk earlier that day. I made up my mind the night before that I was not going to let anything get in the way of my usual workout routine. I pray my willpower can hold up.
Hi Everyone! I wanted to catch you up on the events of the day. As I posted on Friday, my son and I got up early this morning to participate in the NAMI walk which is a walk to raise funds and awareness for mental illness and available services. There was a great turnout and fantastic energy from everyone. The walk was 2.2 miles and for those who wanted to do a 3K run was also a 1.5 mile route that they could run twice. I opted to walk the 1.5 mile route.
Well, you know that I've been exercising more regularly now than I ever have. Today, I found out just how out of shape I really am. I went into the walk feeling pretty gung ho about it all. I didn't expect to spring through the walk, but I surely did not think that I would struggle the way I did at the end...okay...midway to the end. It was sheer determination and lots of prayers that got me to the walk to begin with let alone completing it. My son on the other hand, just about skipped the full way through. He loves to walk. I should be a good mama and walk with him more often. My neighborhood is great for walking. We don't have real sidewalks, but my neighborhood has very little traffic. It's built kind of like a labyrinth so it has a maze affect and it's quiet. I love my neighborhood. I will make a special effort to walk around the neighborhood with my son at least once or twice a month...to start, as long as the temperatures stay mild.
I've been enjoying the videos, but the videos, especially the walking ones do not even begin to compare to taking a real walk. I see why walking is the best way to exercise. It's the best low impact workout you can do. I'm still going to do my indoor workouts, but I think adding outdoor walking is a must. We'll see how it goes.
After we finished the walk, I decided to continue pushing on and running a few errands that we did not get to do earlier in the week. Some of these errands required more walking...oh joy. I admit, when we got to Walmart I was so tempted to get one of those scooters, but I grabbed a basket in stead, just to have something to hold onto while I made my way through the store. I'm surprised I could feel my legs given how tired I was. Oh, I forgot to mention that I didn't get winded during the walk. My breathing and heart rate were great, but my body felt otherwise.
One more thing, despite how tired we were we still went to the Art Center for the No Shame Theater event this evening. I was so excited. Sad to say, after a couple weeks of practice, I still did horribly. I don't feel so bad about doing poorly with the acting as I feel bad about the audience not getting the full experience of a beautifully written monologue. At one point I decided this would be the first and last stage experience in my genera of experiences, but an hour or so later I decided I would get back that stage time and time again until I conquer my fears. The old me would have left the as soon as my performance ended, never to return. I tell yah, this transformation thing is most interesting...very strange to embrace so many new experiences and not care if they go well or not. I mean, to totally expose myself and be okay with it. That's the most brilliant part of this whole thing, especially since I've spent the better part of my life hiding.
Oh! Another one more thing...I carried water, fruit and snacks for this morning's event and I purchased a rotisserie chicken while shopping that we had for lunch and dinner with a few other cooked items. I did not use our busy schedule as an excuse to settle for junk food today. Woot! Woot!
In my opinion, today has been a day of triumphs. I have accomplish things that I would never have tried to accomplish in the past. I was able to make healthy eating choices for both me and my son. I'm so very happy he was with me to share in all the wonderful experiences today. It has truly been a spectacular day!
How is everyone doing today? I hope you enjoyed last weeks video which was an introduction to chair yoga. I really enjoyed it. I found a series of videos that start off with a 10 or 15 minute beginner practice and goes up to a complete 40 minute beginner practice. This week I'd like to share the 15 minute practice. What I like most about these types of videos is the encouragement to be mindful of my body and how movement makes my body feel. That is the purpose of me sharing these wonderful videos with you on Fridays. To encourage mindful movement and hopefully help to develop a love of healthy positive movement in all of us.
This week has been a week of firsts for me. I find myself doing things that I would have only thought about in the past. Things like being more forward with disabilities advocacy and really working towards making a difference for disabled people in my community. I've also branched out and wrote a monologue which I am planning on performing at a local Art Center tomorrow. In addition to that I'm actually planning for my son and I to participate in a walk tomorrow. NAMI a local advocacy group for individuals having mental illness and intellectual disabilities. The walk is tomorrow morning and will be 2.2 miles. I can't tell you the last time I've walked a mile or even just around my neighborhood.
I can't explain it, but there's something wonderful occurring and I'm not sure why it's happening. I'm just happy that it is happening. I imagine part of these wonderful desires for change are because I am becoming more mindful about how I spend my time and utilized my energy. I have a greater desire to do things that are not only healthy for my body and mind, but also inspirational and meaningful to me and my son.
I'm here with tears in my eyes as I realize that I am finally learning how to live. It's an amazing realization to know that all these years I've been in my pain and have not known true life and living. I'm so very happy to be at this point and I hope and pray for all of us to feel life, embrace life and live life in it's fullness being even more mindful and thoughtful of ourselves and each other.
So let us continue the journey together. This weeks we continue with mindful movement. I may post one or two more videos from this series in the coming weeks. Let me know if you like these videos or if you would rather I post some other kind of exercise. Onward and Upward!
Hi there! Thank you so much for your patience. I apologize for not getting my Friday post done yesterday.
Today I'd like to focus on mindful movement. I've spoken with you before about using my exercise time to meditate sometimes. Meditation is one of the things that makes my exercise routines very pleasant. I don't meditate all the time, only when I really feel a need to, but I plan to increase my mediation practice over time.
I thought we'd do something a little different this week. The video I selected is a yoga video for beginners and guess what...we're going to learn yoga from both sitting and standing positions. I really enjoyed the pace of this video and hope you will to.
While you are exercising, please be mindful of how the exercises make your body feel. Make sure you are well hydrated and also have water near by just in case you need a sip during your workout. Also, remember to breathe deeply while exercising. You want to get all that good oxygen rich blood flowing throughout your body. I hope you find this workout to be both a little challenging as well as relaxing.
This workout routine is approximately 25 minutes. Do as much as your body feels comfortable doing and if you want to do more, maybe combine portions of other routine or start from the beginning and do this routine again.
Greetings everyone! I hope you are having a wonderful Friday. I can't complain. It's raining here and I'm feeling very happy...almost festive. I've been looking forward to writing today's post. I wanted to talk about what I like and don't like about the videos so far. Please feel free to chime in anytime you like. :-)
As many of you know I've been taking it slow. I like low impact exercise with short spurts of low level intensity to bring my heart rate a little, but not too much. I've been posting videos of various levels, nothing too high, also some for those who are able to do more. I had a lot of difficulty keeping up with the dancing video, but it was a great fun. I also struggled a with the walking video when they increased the speed. Other than that, I rather enjoyed the walking video. Did it pause with you much? It paused on me several times which I did not like. I used the time to walk in place until the video started up again. It wasn't too bad. I noticed a walking video that appears to be endorsed by the Heart Association. I'm going to take a closer look, try it out for a few days and if I like it, I will post it.
I'm still noticing changes in my body and ability to move better. Still not that much change in my size though I do look a little better in my clothes. What I've noticed most is my increase in energy. Just the other day my phone rang while I was in the kitchen. I didn't have it with me so I did a quick dash around the corner to get it. Let me tell you, a few weeks ago that would not have happened. At best, my dashes were in very sloooooow motion. This time, I got to the phone right at the third ring and I wasn't the slightest bit winded. Impressive. Slow and steady wins the race, but if I don't win, I will at least make it to the finish line.
Today, I'd like to step back a little and post another chair exercise video featuring stretches and light cardio. I like those kinds of videos best. I've incorporated more of the walking and stretching videos into my daily routine than anything else. Does it sound bad for me to admit that I like to lengthen my workout time by starting and ending with stretches? I noticed that I get so much more time in and it doesn't really feel like it. Right now, I'm fluctuation between approximately 20 minutes to an hour depending. Not bad, huh...
Are you drinking enough water? I feel so much better when I drink a glass of water before working out and when finished. I keep water nearby just incase I need a sip during. Staying well hydrated really makes a difference. Just like proper breathing makes a difference. So get your water in and get your breathe on.
Okay... Here's this week's video. I hope you enjoy it. Have a great weekend. I'll be posting again soon.
This week's video is 40 minutes long. Only do as much as you are comfortable doing. Happy moving :-)
40-Minute Seated Chair Cardio and Strength Workout
I just finished watching a video, "The Made Who Ate Himself To Death." It was such a sad movie. At the end I found out he'd lost the battle to obesity. I'm still affected by what I just saw. Damn! I think about how hard it is to eat right. I still fight the urge to stop at fast food places especially during evening hours. And to be completely honest, I don't know if I would be doing as well if life changes weren't needed for my son. What if he didn't have gut issues? What if he didn't develop seizures? Would I have been strong enough to make the changes that I've made?
I talked to a good friend yesterday. She just found out that she gained weight at her last doctor's appointment. Some of the health issues that were once getting better are worsening again. Her doctor is talking about giving her a gastric balloon. I guess that's better than going under the knife. She seems to be okay with it. I am going to support her whatever her decision. This is just another reminder of how difficult it is to win the battle against ED let alone the war.
I think about you guys all the time and I wonder how are you really doing. I listen through the silence hoping to somehow hear your answers as you read my posts. I'd love to know where you are in your journey and if there are any words of encouragement I can offer. I share my story though my story may not be anything like yours. I offer hope as I continue to find my way. It's not easy and it damn sure takes more than a little exercise to make it all better. For me, working towards beating Ed has been having to make efforts that surpass my wildest imagination and sometimes beyond my ability. It means being able to withstand not having the support that I'd hoped for from family and friends. Do you know, that I have actually asked friends to help me by way of encouraging me to not eat if they hear me munching over the phone late night. It didn't happen. And in some cases they encouraged me to eat more. That's okay, I had to figure out a way to help myself. That's when the premeasured snack came into play. Have you tried that by the way? Or does something else work for you? Maybe you haven't quite figured it out yet. Don't give up.
On Fridays I post exercise videos just to share some ideas and encourage you as well as myself to get moving and keep moving. I've actually found it helpful. Do you? I hope so. I don't ever want to be one of those people who say, "If I can do it, you can do it." I believe you can do it, but that has nothing to do with what I can or cannot do. I believe you can do it because I believe when you work through the crap that started this process, you will see that you are worth the effort and with that you will succeed. Don't give up.
There's going to be hardships and times of smooth sailing...hills and valleys. You know like I know. It's not easy, but necessary. You can't clean things unless they get dirty. You can't fix what doesn't get broken. You can't appreciate good if you don't know bad. And you certainly can't embrace peace if you don't know what it is to come out of chaos. In all things there is something to be gained. It could be experience, knowledge, courage... Whatever it is, when you gain it remember to apply it to your life so you don't keep falling back into the same trap time and time again. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. I am a lover of knowledge, but I didn't always utilize what I learned. Using the knowledge that I've gain through hardships has really made a difference. Glad I finally figured it out.
This post goes out to my friend who is struggling, but still fighting the good fight. I am with you my friend and I hope that you find the strength, courage and ability to get through today. Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. I pray you receive the support you hope for and deserve. This is just a momentary set back. You will wake up to a fresh new start. Don't give up.
Keep fighting the good fight, my friends. Don't give up.
It's finally Friday! Time to kick back for a moment and relax, but don't relax too long. I don't want to miss today's new workout video :-)
I've always heard that the best full body workout is walking. It's low impact which makes it an ideal exercise for people of all ages.
How would you like to walk a mile in about 15 minutes. It's never to early or late in the day. You don't have to change your clothes. You can take this walk while your kids are napping. You don't even have to leave your home or office. Believe it or not I found a video for walking. That's right a video for walking. Who knew?
Tonight we are going to start with a 1 mile happy walk. Sound's pretty good right? Let's go!! 4...3...2... :-)
1 Mile Happy Walk - YouTube
For dinner tomorrow try oven baked sweet potato fries. I served them last night with a breadless burger. I put a link below for the recipe. With this recipe you may want to play around with your oven temp, thickness of fries and time. I cut my fries a little thin, placed then in a 425 degree oven for about 35-40 minutes. There were a couple casualties, but all in all the fries were delicious. I did not make the cashew mayo.
I'm sitting at my desk thinking of what to do next when I notice the time. It's time to prepare a snack for my son. I think I might prepare a little something for myself as well.
A quick dash to the kitchen and I find a bit of fresh fruit and a few chips for my son while I get a bowl of my new favorite snack, Skinny Pop. Skinny Pop is a wonderful gluten free treat that is light on hips as well as the pocket.
Changing our diets due to my son's dietary needs has been a huge benefit for both of us. Not just the foods we eat, but how we eat and when. I've always believed children should have a reasonable eating schedule, however, I did not always add myself into the equation. In recent past it wasn't uncommon for me to prepare foods for my son and nothing for myself. Self starvation was a key factor for me then. It took me leaning to love myself before I could add myself to the healthy pot. Now that I have, I continue to develop even more love for myself. I am able to reap the benefits from the decisions I make for my son. What's good for the goose IS good for the gander.
I often think about where I've come from so I can fully appreciate where I am. When I prepare foods I always prepare enough for two, even if my eating is not in the forefront, it's still part of the plan. I've also become more sensitive to bad habits like wanting to get something to eat everytime we go out, even just to run a few errands. Fortunately with awareness and effort I've managed to reframe from doing that lately. Just today while my son and I were out I felt the urge to grab some fries, but I didn't. Eating a healthy meal before going out helped a lot. The ultimate push is my desire to be a better role model for my son and to implement a healthier eating schedule for both of us.
Anyway, to make a short story just a little bit longer :-) I just wanted to say that I'm really thankful for the changes that I've had to make on behalf of my son, because it opened to door way for me to find the strength to make healthy diet changes for myself. Changes that I never thought I'd be able to make. It never hurts to have a little inspiration.
What inspires you to do good things for yourself? If you can't think of anything, than allow yourself to be your own inspiration. When you truly love someone you don't want to do anything to hurt them. That goes the same for self. If you truly love yourself you will not want to do things that hurt you. It starts of slow and picks up momentum as the love you build for yourself grows.
Choose to live well my friends. Love yourselves, be inspired.
Greetings everyone! Happy Friday again. Have you noticed how fast the week has gone by. It seems like I just posted a Friday video a couple days ago. Hmm, I guess time does fly when you're having fun.
How has your week been? I've been thinking of you guys and hoping that you are continuing to be inspired to take a healthier path and create a healthier you. You deserve it!
So far, it has been an absolute joy writing the Friday posts. There's so many exercise videos out there, more than I could have imagined. What I appreciate most are the variety of videos available. There's a little something for everyone and it's free. It doesn't get much better than that. :-)
Have you ever heard of or experienced a weight loss plateau? I've heard of it, but sad to say I've never exercised long enough to experience it. At least, I don't think I have. According to some fitness gurus changing up fitness routines in small increments weekly helps the body to continue losing weight. I've also read that changing of diet over time will help also. Okay, I can see the possibility of having long-term progress when making periodic changes in diet and exercise.
What does this mean to someone who's just starting out with daily exercise and doesn't diet?
Well, I certainly enjoy doing different kinds of exercises. Keeping the same routine gets real old, real fast and for someone like me it's an easy out when I get bored. That's why I make my exercise efforts about the whole body, mind and spirit as opposed to just weight loss. Does that make since? I mean...shouldn't weight loss be part of the prize? You know...like buying a $1 scratch off and winning 10 bucks. Frankly speaking, I don't get that excited when thinking about weight loss. As a matter of fact, it can be a trigger for binging and/or starving. When I think of weight loss only it becomes overwhelming, larger than life, and impossible to imagine, especially when I have so much weight to lose. Every part of my being contributes to the weight loss madness. And then I quit. I quit because I've exhausted myself and have fallen into deep depression. I'm not taking that route this time. No. This time It's going to be different and this time I will succeed.
Success is already at hand because I am focusing on the things that matter most to me which are the things that make me exited about this process. I get exited when I think of my clarity of mind, body feeling stronger, posture's getting better, eating healthier, having more energy, clothes fitting better, happier calmer moods, less hot flashes, lower blood pressure, clearer skin even and oh yeah...there is an added bonus, I'm losing weight too. Booya!
My daily workout routines are awesome. I'm not locked into doing the same routine every week. Which is part of the reason I look forward to exercising. I do different kinds of workouts while focusing on different areas of my body. For example... Last week I concentrated more on my lower body. This week I'm all about my upper body. That doesn't mean I'm no longer working on my lower body. I've just changed my lower body routine and returned to lower reps. In the meantime, I've increased reps for my upper body. Next week will be vice versa. I will return my focus to the lower body, increasing the reps for my most recent lower body routine. I'll change the routine for my upper body and starting that routine at lower reps and so on... Get it?
Food intake...
That's easy. I don't diet. There's no bigger deal breaker than a diet. I chalk that up to having been on so many diets in the past, starting in my preteen years. Having to cut back on all the food that I love and watching my parents eat sweets in front of me. Too much. I'm not going to live a life of restriction. As you know, my son and I are gluten free. This is due to his seizures. By the way, he's doing very well, only having one seizure in the last 10 months. Going gluten free freed me from eating rice, breads, pastas, and potatoes almost daily. That change alone has breathed life into my healthy transition. Not only that, but I've rekindled my love with veggies. I was once a vegetarian. I'd gotten away from my veggie ways when I married a meat and potatoes man. I don't want to go back to being a complete vegetarian, but I do appreciate having a larger variety of veggies in our diet.
Another aspect of not dieting...I don't want to take my diet all the way down to salads everyday, not this early in the game. If that is something I naturally want to do later on, so be it. I want to eat regular foods so I can learn how to develop a healthy relationship with food. I like the way I'm eating now because I'm eating healthy portions without feeling restricted which means I have less desire to binge. As I continue on this journey, I believe my diet will continue to change for the better. One day I will eat more salads and will still be able to have a piece of fried chicken without blowing up like a puffer fish.
Okay, enough about that. Let's move on to the video. This week we're going to be doing a little dancing. One of the things I love most about this video is the obvious fun they had while making it. Be sure to check out the protein bar recipe at the end of the video. I haven't tried it yet, but it looks delicious. The video lasts about 20 minutes. Enjoy!
First of all, please accept my apology if you find this post offensive. It is not my intention to offend anyone. There are many factors to being a women and I for one am open to discussing those factors, one of which is our monthly cycle. If you are uncomfortable with this type of discussion, please do not read the rest of this post. Thank you.
I have experienced many pluses since starting exercise regularly. My moods have been better. My body feels better. I think I look better. And I sleep much better. I genuinely enjoy my exercise time, most of the time. There's an all around good feeling when doing something good for myself, especially not giving up on myself. There's another unexpected gift that I didn't count on. One of the things I asked God for included turning back the hands of time so I could look and feel more youthful. I was blissfully unaware that my request would include the rejuvenation of my menses.
I know this may be an uncomfortable subject for some, but it's one worth speaking on.
I started my cycle at the age of 10. I won't bore you with the details about that. Thirty-five years later I found myself praying to God to release me from the gift that keeps on giving. How ironic that I would receive a double dose of my special gift every December...Merry what? Yes, I speak of the dreaded red dollar days, period, being on-the-rag, or what I so lovingly referred to as my beloved dash, which I experienced approximately every other month. At least that's what I called it in my 50th year as I gracefully flitted into perimenopause, a state in which I've relished the thought of for some time. I won't be the one to tell you transitioning has been easy, but I will say I believed I weathered the worst of it and was finally coming into the home stretch. And then... I thought that train was coming to a screeching halt. Instead it looks like I've been scheduled for a few more runs. I am not happy about this. Oh well, that being said, my symptoms are much milder in comparison to my youth. I attribute that to exercise and healthy changes in diet.
While I'm on the subject, how do you handle cravings during that time of the month? Do you fight them or allow yourself to feed the savage beast inside? I used to struggle with cravings and that feeling of being a bottomless pit every month. Some months were worse than others. I bring this up because I've not yet read anything that discusses this issues for women having eating disorders. Do men go through cycles of cravings or is it just us?
It didn't matter how much progress I made, binging always occurred during my time of month. I never spoke on it. I treated it like a separate entity. I guess I didn't see the relevance or even more of an honest answer, I didn't want to admit it. I was afraid to talk about it because I didn't know what to do about it. It's much better for me now that I've admitted this is a real problem for me. Solution...recognizing the foods I crave during that time and finding healthy alternatives. I have the standard kinds of cravings. Usually I want something sweet, salty and crunchy. In the past I would eat things like chips, dip and chocolate in large quantities. Now I eat healthier combinations, a sort of trail mix if you will. I like to combine raw baby carrots with peanuts and raisins. Lovely combination. Sweet, crunchy and satisfying. Another delicious combination is dried fruit like apples, pear, mango or prunes accompanied by a small piece of cheese on top of a triscuit or bagel chip. I recommend a triscuit or bagel chips because they offer more bite and longer chewing time, which gives my mind time to sense that my stomach is getting full and I actually get a little tired of chewing too. You may want to use cucumber instead of the triscuit or bagel chip. Pick a healthy solution that works for you.
As I do any other night, I prepare my snack in advance which gives me something to look forward to and curves my need to binge. If this method does not work for you, keep looking for what does. Like me, you may have to try a couples things before you figure it out.
Remember to drink at least 6-8 8oz. glasses of water per day. It's important to stay hydrated and drinking water also helps to curb your appetite.
I was not a water lover, so I used a few tricks to help me get the water down until I learned to love it.
Tip for the day: Add a squeeze of lemon, lime or orange juice to a glass of water. Garnish with a slice of fruit. It looks pretty and is great for special occasions. I sometimes add a sprinkle of cool-aide (original) into my glass of water. Another great way to add a little color and flavor to a glass of water without adding sugar or expense. You could also freeze fruit into ice cubes and put that in your water.
How are you doing? Did you have a good week? I hope so and if you did not have a good week I hope together we can find healthy ways to deal with the stresses and usher in the joys.
Two of the things that help me the most when getting through stressful times is prayer and affirmations. I pray all the time, that's a given, but I don't always remember to do my affirmations. So on those days when I'm feeling a bit weathered or flat out defeated, I go to my bathroom mirror and repeat the affirmation that is still taped at the top. Remember what it is?
"When I say I love you, I mean I'm committed to working to love you even when it's hard."
I chose this as my long standing affirmation because in all relationships, when one loves they try harder and even harder still when committed. So I am committed to working on loving myself as well as being committed to the relationship that I'm building with myself.
Once the affirmation begins to sink in, I make an effort to remember all of the wonderful changes that have occurred since the beginning of my journey; all the wonderful blessings that have come out of the hardships and how good it feels to have gratitude for it all. Not easy...I know, but doable. Before you know it gratitude will be a way of life.
I haven't talked much about my personal exercise routine and where I am with that. Shorty after the new year I started feeling less inspired to exercise which had nothing to do with my son's gut issues. A profound feeling of listlessness came over me and it was hard to shake. I will say that my son's gut issues did take my attention so I didn't give much thought to why I felt the way I did.
With each day that passed I thought of more excuses not to exercise. Even in all of that, I continued to make the effort to exercise at least every 3-4 days. Something inside would not let me quit. I couldn't. I've worked too hard to get to this point and I wasn't going to turn back. I struggled for about 2 months and then the clouds began to clear and the sun shined again. What on earth was that experience?! Well, as I ALWAYS say...hindsight is 20/20. Looking back over my journey I realized that I started exercising regularly approximately 6 months ago. So what's the catch? I have a long standing pattern of running out of steam for exercise or anything healthy in about 3-4 months. Everytime I've ever started an exercise/weight loss program I've always quit around that time. Guess what...January was about the 4th months of my current exercise effort. That explains it. What's even better...I didn't quit. SHAZAM! Have I broken the cycle?
YES! I am still exercising! And better yet, I'm back to exercising everyday. That's right. Thank you God! I am still on the road to recovery and doing it better than ever. Now that's not to say there won't be more challenges, but what counts today is I've come fact to face with a pivotal point in my journey and I'm still kickin' it. Yeah!! [doing my happy dance]
Whew! That was a great celebration! Okay, back to work. I haven't forgotten. Today is Friday and it's time to share another exercise video. Did you like the last one? I hope you tried it and are encouraged by it. Do something wonderful for yourself everyday. One of the best gifts we can give ourselves is quality time and moving our bodies is a perfect way to do that. When the body becomes accustomed to healthy movement it's easier to want to keep moving. Take it slow. One day at a time, one move at a time. Feel the good energy flowing through you and around you. Make this time a special time just for you or share this time with your family and friends. Whatever works for you.
There may be a few of you who want to amp it up and do a longer routine. One great way to do that is to combine this week's and last week' s videos in one routine. Start with the stretching and then go for the cardio. Together they make a great 30 minute workout.
I hope you grow to love movement and how good movement can make you feel.
Today's video focuses on stretching the body which is an excellent way to fall in love with movement.
Okay, here we go. This week's video...
Don't forget to suggest your favorite workout videos, healthy recipes and/or food prep ideas in the comment section below. Thanks! :-)
I typically get very anxious when things change suddenly, especially when the changes interrupt routine for a considerable amount of time.
Last Thursday night I was sitting at my computer working on a couple blog posts and eating a bowl of soup. The soup was delicious I might add, even though my son may beg to differ. I'd been accomplishing many good things and handling negatives better than usual. I'd been uploading transcription software and defragging my computer so it could run a little faster. Everything was moving right along. I decide to reboot my computer and get another bowl of soup. When I returned to my computer the monitor was black. I turned it off, waited 10 seconds and turned it back on. Nothing. I reach over to press the "On" key on my computer. Nothing. I check power connections and tried again...still nothing. Oh no, my computer is dead. All I could think about was the work I would not be able to finish before deadline.
Crap! What am I supposed to do now? I call my computer guru, hoping he'd answer. He didn't. I left my desperate plea and hoped to hear from him soon. Rather than continuing to sit at my desk stewing about the loss of my computer, I decided to close up shop and do some housework. It was pretty early in the evening which meant I was going to get a good head start on my nightly routine. Before getting deep into my housework I stopped for a moment to pray. There's something about spending time with God that seems to make everything be okay. I like spending time with God. I like telling Him about my day. I know He already knows, but I like telling to Him anyway. I started off telling Him about my computer and then I stopped...and began to give thanks. I don't like starting a conversation with complaints. Several minutes go by, you would have thought I'd found enough things to be thankful for, but I the more I thanked Him for the more gratitude I felt. Before I knew it, I was thanking God for shutting down my computer, a thing which would have rattled me to my core in the past. Instead of being rattled, I was joyful. I felt free.
Later on as my chores came to a close, I found myself thinking about the peace that I felt and how odd it was for me to feel that way. Odd indeed. How could I rejoice over the loss of my computer? Am I going mad? I let the dog out and went into my room to exercise. While exercising I began thinking of the many things that I've wanted to accomplish, but have not because I was at my computer. Hmm, I don't have that excuse right now. Guess I'd better get to getting it... Before I knew it I had plans on deep cleaning my house, activities with my son, outings with friends and so on. My goodness, I didn't realize there were so many other things I've let slip through the cracks because I'm always working on the next project. I wound never have figure that out without the loss of my computer.
God answers prayers. It wasn't a week ago when I asked God to help me be able to accomplish more in my day. I also asked Him to help me live a better quality life. Seems I was always working. I can't rest for thinking of things that I think will make our lives better. I wasn't accomplishing enough and frankly speaking I don't feel like I have the energy to do much more. I'm thankful for what I've been able to accomplish, but it's short lived by the guilt I feel for not doing more when I know there is more to be done. More than I sometimes care to think about. Could it be that this turn of events was an answer to my prayers? All evidence seems to point to that. Time to be still so I can receive God's grace.
I am super stoked that I was able to find the part I needed for my computer and able to install it myself. Now that my computer is up and running, I can't help but recognize that I have been freed from the chains that bind. I will continue working on my various projects, however, I have learned to see and embrace the bigger picture. I'm looking forward to living a new life having the ability to be apart from my computer without anxiety and guilt tagging along.
The best part...my computer being down did not send me spiraling into depression. I did not have an urge to self-sooth by way of binging. My life is really taking a turn for the better as my trust in God and my ability to see positives in adversity grow stronger.
One more thing...
I apologize to my patient son who simply smiles as he closes his bedroom door to muffle the sounds of me clicking away on my keyboard. You have been more than kind. You even taught me how to lovingly deal with that which makes me uncomfortable. I thank you for that. I stand in awe as I become more aware of the wisdom that dwells within your silence. Love you Boo-boo.
Yep! I'm having some difficulty getting away from having a late night snack. I've been getting very anxious about this. I guess you can tell by my last post. I was looking into some sort of appetite suppressant. I didn't find anything suitable. I like the idea of having healthy snacks that can naturally suppress my appetite. As a matter of fact, I'm particularly interested in the idea of apples being one of those healthy snacks. Rice bran draws some interest as well. I'll have to check into it as I am fiber sensitive and I have to be careful. No need to add adverse affects to an already existing situation.
Natural appetite suppressants do offer some sense of relief, I guess. It's...well...I wanted to be able to stop late night snacking all together. I'm really having a lot of difficulty with this and I'm not sure how I'm going to tackle this hurdle. The main thing is not to freak out about it. Yeah, I was on the cusp of doing that also. I worked myself into borderline desperation. Glad it was short lived or else the potential for a host of other issues could easily develop if I didn't get a grip on the situation. I never gave thought to how easy it would be to develop other bad habits or dare I say obsessions if desperation gets thrown into the mix. Better be sure to steer clear of that. I don't need any additional problems.
I could look at this situation two ways. I could say that I'm expending almost all my energy trying to gnaw my way out of the binging chains that bind. Or I could have a more positive view and say, for me, not binging takes considerable effort and there has been great improvement. So what am I worrying about? Well, I worry about my inability to get past the desire to eat something almost every night. I also worry about the occasion when a snack could so easily lead to another snack and yet another...
I have had some really good nights where I didn't binge or snack on anything. And of course there have been those nights when I've planned a pre-measured snack and was quite successful with it. That's it! Maybe I should go back to having planned pre-measured snacks available for a while. It wasn't so stressful for me. As a matter of fact, soon as I got comfortable with having a pre-measured snack available I jumped right into trying to stop the snacks all together. Ever since I made that decision it's been nothing but stressful. Wow! I am so glad I wrote this post. I had not thought about my original reason for implementing pre-measured snack to begin with. Yeah, time for me to get off this hellish track and back to something more doable, until I'm stronger. I'm pushing myself to hard...to fast? And making too big of a deal out of it. After all, how long should it take to completely drop the habit of eating at night, a habit that I've spent more than 4 decades developing?
Okay, I feel so much better. I was really worried about the snacking and how stressful it's been to not allow myself anything. It shouldn't come down to praying, crying and trying to rock myself to sleep every night to keep from eating. In all of this I didn't even think of the fact that I am losing weight. I just have to keep the snacks small, healthy and most of all planned. So far this has been my biggest defense against binging. Man...I've really worn myself out with this one. That's okay. Like I said in a previous post. Peaks and valleys are necessary. Instead of trying to avoid them...which I can't do...I face them and look for the lessons that they possess. There it is... I'm going back to taking baby steps again.
I'm free! I don't have to suffer the crying and carrying on tonight. I'm going to prepare a little snack and stick it in the fridge...just in case. This I can do.
Tomorrow I'm going to the store and I'm purchasing some apples. You know what they say...an apple a day...
Please Lord, let this be the answer I've been looking for.
Whew...what a relief. Once again, the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Thank you, Lord.
Greetings everyone! I know it's late. I've been surfing the web looking for appetite suppressants. Sad to say most of what I'm seeing leaves much to be desired. I am caffeine sensitive, plus I have some issues with my heart after so many years of starving, binging, stress, obesity and smoking. Needless to say, I have to be careful with my choices. That being said, I've decided to take a more natural approach to suppressing my appetite.
The most vulnerable time for me are the early morning hours, just before I go to bed. Did I mention my insomnia? Most appetite suppressants increase your energy. No one I know wants a burst of energy before going to bed and being an insomniac...can you I imagine?
I visited Dr. Oz's website and found 5 natural ways to suppress appetite, key word being natural. There are even a couple items that would work well before bedtime which is when I most need them. Here they are... I'm listing the links separately so you can visit what is most interesting to you without having to flip through virtual pages.
A delicious sounding recipe. I love pesto. I think I'll try making this for the weekend. Weekends are another hard time for me because I love to snack and what's a weekend without fun finger foods.
That's it for me tonight. I've set aside a small snack for later. It's sort of calming to know that I do have something in the wings. I hope one day to not want to snack late night. In the meantime, if I small "planned" snack can give some relieve, I'll take it. It's better than the alternative of not allowing any snack and suffering through until sleep finally comes. Hopefully these natural appetite suppressing ideas will help me with that.
I was skyping with my cousin a few days ago. She was depressed about her weight and other health issues. We talked for a long time. I know what it's like to say you want to do something for yourself and not be able to do it. I'm sure those who've read this blog have seen my struggles with that very subject.
It wasn't that long ago when I was saying the same things my cousin said to me. I knew that I wanted to do more for myself, but could not bring myself to follow through. Changing my eating habits alone is not enough for me to obtain my goals...at least the goals I've set for dealing with my body image.
Anyway, my cousin and I talked extensively about the costs of gym memberships. Even the YMCA is costly and neither one of us has an extra $350 lying around to pay for a yearly membership. Then it hits me. What is my favorite go to place when I'm looking for information on most anything? (drum roll) YouTube!
It didn't take long for me to find a long line of health and fitness videos. I only had to narrow it down to something that we both can do and enjoy. Due to health issues, my cousin's mobility is limited and due to my having been inactive for so long I need to crawl my way back into a good fitness routine. What I found addressed both of our needs. There is a short series of videos designed for people having limited mobility. Does not matter if you are limited because of weight, health or age. It is also designed for beginning fitness enthusiasts as well. What I like most about these videos is there step program which starts off with exercise routines done from a sitting position and slowly works you up to doing full workouts from a standing position. How cool is that?!
I strongly recommend for anyone who has not worked out in a very long time like myself or is starting to work out for the very first time to consult your physician about starting any exercise program.
One of my most favorite aspects of these videos is that fact that you start from a sitting position. If I'm not working with my son, also usually from a sitting position, I am at my desk working on different projects. I do get up frequently to check on my son, get housework done and cook, but it's not enough movement to make a difference in my health. I can safely say the majority of my days is spent in a sitting position. These videos are just perfect for me. What better way to begin incorporating exercise into my daily routine?! It's easy, affordable, workable and proving to be beneficial.
WARNING: For those who are sensitive to seeing exercise activity please do not watch the video below.
Here is the video of Stage 1, episode 1 Workout Launchpad - Beginner Stage
I think this is a wonderful way to get moving even if you are in relatively good shape. I'm enjoying how I feel about myself after completing this work out. It's done wonders for me just to know that I am important enough to myself to take 26 minutes to do something wonderful and beneficial just for me.
I am still doing well with eating. I've taken on a new love and appreciation for my home cooking and love...love...love cooking healthy, delicious meals for myself and my family.
I still have a late snack on occasion and I've had 1 or 2 nights where the call to binge was stronger than it had been for awhile. It was very short lived. My eating schedule is better and I feel good...not just good...also good about myself. That is what's most important to me know...feeling good about myself.
How are you doing? I hope life is going well for you. Even
more, I hope your healing is going well. Everything is good for me right now. I’m
feeling much better about my circumstances. That’s not to say that there aren’t
any problems. I’m simply making an effort to see things differently. Perhaps
that is my greatest issue. I’ve not been able to consistently see things
differently or let go of my past. I keep dragging it around with me comparing
all of life’s little blips to the mishaps and traumas of unfortunate parenting
which set the tone for my life. I was worthless in the eyes of my parents, but
that was then. They are gone and can no longer hurt me. So why is it that I
still feel like the wounded child? In part, it is because there is a part of me
that is still wounded. It is that part of me that I must address because
healing in that area will change much of my outlook in other areas.
How do the wounded help the wounded? They don’t. They can’t. Them that are
actively licking their wounds cannot help the wounded. Why? When a wound hurts
it takes almost if not all of our attention to deal with it. Even when trying
to ignore wounds they command our attention.If it weren’t true than there would be no overuse or addiction to drugs,
alcohol, sex or any other kind of vice utilized to sooth and self-medicate the
pain away. Some wounds command so much attention that it literally takes every
waking moment to drown them out. A wounded person who is well into the recovery
process can offer much help and words of wisdom. Sharing your story helps others
as well as grounds you and keeps you focused on your own goals. Keep in mind
not to get overly caught up in the wounds of another. It’s all too easy to
become fixated on the problems of others and lose all control of our own
issues.
Being a person of faith, I am taught to keep my mind on the
Lord, be prayerful and turn my problems over to Him. Well, I haven’t been good
about doing that lately and that explains why my problems seem larger than
life. I am a prayerful person, but prayer alone does not work. Please don’t be
shocked or confused by what I am saying. I believe in the power of prayer,
however, if I am praying for help and do not fully trust that God is able and
will help, than I’m really praying in vain. I’m still holding onto problems
instead of letting them go and trusting God. When that happens, the weight of
my world multiplies and it literally takes me off my feet.
On the other hand when I pray diligently and turn my
problems over to God, trusting that God will take care of them and me. It
changes the way I pray about problems. Instead of saying please help me with a
specific problem, I might chose to say, thank you for taking on all of my
problems and please fortify me that I may withstand whatever comes my way
today. In asking for fortification I am seeking help and protection while acknowledging
the problems I have are too great for me to handle by myself. In other words,
it doesn’t benefit me to say I am turning over my problems while spinning the
wheels of my mind searching for solutions.
Praying and turning my problems over to God does not mean that I am forgetting,
neglecting or ignoring them. It simply means that I am trusting God to take
care of my problems as I go about my day focusing more on what I can accomplish
in the day as opposed to focusing on my problems. I am patiently trusting God
while going about my days, always being mindful and prayerful about all things.
Does that make sense?
When I was going through so much a few months ago I did not
realize that I was holding on to my problems. I remember talking to God one
evening and telling him that my pain was so great that I could not feel Him or
hear Him. It was like God turned away from me. In fact, it was I who turned
away from Him. I turned my focus towards my problems, not God. I trembled day
and night…even in my sleep. I’d wake up holding myself and rocking. Anxiety was
through the roof and hope was fading fast. My faith was being tested and I fear
that I failed miserably.
Life continues to be plagued with little things gone wrong. Some
days all the little things add up to be big things. I try not to let it get me
down. Most important, I am learning not to operate out of emotions from the
past, but to recognize that I am not that wounded child. Only a small part of
me is wounded and I will address that part as needed. Unpleasant experiences of
my past do not dictate the unpleasant experiences of today. I am learning to
deal with problems better, not internalize them or categorize them into a
convenient pre-packaged stock emotion from my childhood.
