Greeting everyone! I hope you are well. I wanted to share a few good articles and interview that I found targeting eating disorders in African American/Black/EthnicWomen and Men.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner: Eating Disorders in African Americans
Women of Color & Eating Disorders
Neda - Feeding Hope
Please take a moment to scroll down to the bottom of the article, Neda - Feeding Hope, to listen to Joy Keys interview special guests Stephanie Covington Armstrong, author of "Not All Black Girls Know How to Eat: A Story of Bulimia," and former NEDA Director of Programs, Laurie Vanderboom as they discuss the struggles black women face when seeking help for an eating disorder.
If you have trouble accessing the link for Joy Keys interview here is the direct link African American Women and Eating Disorders
Here's more information on Stephanie Covington Armstrong's book, Not All Black Girls Know How to Eat: A Story of Bulimia. Not All Black Girls Know How To Eat
Eating Disorders and Minorities
I hope these articles and interview will help many minority women and men realized that they are not suffering alone and these issues need to be talked about. Don't let anyone tell you that African American/Blacks/Ethnics do not have eating disorders. Keep seeking help and reaching out to others. Help will come and healing will begin.
Stay strong and don't give up.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
No More Hiding: Letting Go At Last
Prayer is an intricate part of my healing journey. One of the many things I've prayed for is the ability to see myself through my own eyes...not the eyes of my parents.
It took some time before I realized that I did not know myself or see myself as ought to. I only saw what my parents taught me to see. I saw a life not worth living beyond the service I provided. I put all others before myself, fulfilling their needs...my sole priority. I saw ability that would never be recognized and a thirst that would never be quenched. Deprivation was my reward and pain my only inheritance.
It's also very difficult to see yourself when you are not allowed to make even the most simple decisions for yourself. Hair was one of those things that seemed to be more of an issue than need be.
I used to sit in front of my mirror every evening and cry. My hair was always the same. Two or three ponytails with huge ribbons or bows that matched my outfit. This is how I looked everyday. I hated it and I hated my mother for making me look like this.
When I closed my eyes I could see myself with very long hair, but the hair looked strange to me. It looked like braids but it wasn't braided. I didn't know what locks were and had no idea that was the hairstyle I envisioned. I would also see myself with huge hair, wild and curly...unruly. I loved seeing myself like that. Then I'd open my eyes again to see what was still my reality and I retreated further into myself.
One day, I asked my mom if I could wear my hair braided. Absolutely not, she said. I asked, why? Mom turned to me as if to give a life lesson. She said, wearing your hair natural will only make you look ignorant. You must straighten your hair so people will think of you as intelligent. My heart sank and so did my head as I slowly walked back to my room to sit in front of my mirror and cry. I've never forgotten her words.
It would not be until I was in my mid 30s that I would be able to stand up to my mother and tell her how I wanted to wear my hair. I guess you may be wondering why it took so long for me to do this. All I can say is if you have to ask then you don't know what it is to have controlling parents. You can't begin to fathom what it is to be under such tight control and scrutiny. Every independent decision outside of what my parents wanted was made with great trembling and sacrifice. My parents did not take disobedience kindly and any act of disobedience was met with intense cruelty and degradation...no matter my age.
Finally, I broke free from one of the chains that bound me. I cut off all the permed hair and I wore my hair braided for a few years. A week before my 40th birthday I felt a strong urge to begin twisting my hair. I always knew I was going to lock my hair one day, but wasn't sure when. The day had come and I gave into the call. I wore my hair locked for 9 years. I loved my hair. The first time I looked in the mirror and saw my locks in their full light I knew I had finally seen the vision of myself that I saw so many years ago. For once, I stood in front of my mirror and smiled.
During the ninth year of my locks a terrible thing happened. My eczema took a turn for the worse spreading over most of my body including my scalp. Having no insurance at the time, I fought with all I had to remedy my skin, paying cash for doctor appointments to get prescriptions for topical ointments. I also used tea tree oil and soap (natural anti-fungal), a probiotic and diphenhydramine to help with itching. There was little I could do to and save my hair. My skin is much better, but my hair was lost. Locks fell daily, one sometimes two at a time. There was nothing I could do to save them. Each fallen lock was mourned and put away.
It's been about a year since loosing the first lock. I stood in front of my mirror looking at the few remaining locks and thought to myself...why are you hiding? I've spent the last year trying to hold on to something that cannot stay. All I could see was massive loss. My identity...my beauty...my independence...my strength and everything else my locks represented was gone. I've been stripped. There's no where else to hide.
About a month ago I cut off my remaining locks and placed them in a bag where all fallen locks are kept. I stood there squeezing the bag close to my chest, making peace with my decision. It is time for me to face myself. This time in my most natural state. My prayers were being answered, though I had not realized it yet.
I Am As I Am
One more look in the mirror.
There I stand.
Hair shorter than ever.
I began to cry,
Only this time it wasn't tears of sadness,
But tears of joy and relief.
I am free, I said.
No more hiding.
I no longer need my locks to be my identity.
Nor do I need my locks to be,
My strength, my beauty,
Or proclamation of indoctrination of my mind and spirit.
I am just as I am,
And ought to be.
For the first time I see me.
I am budding and soon will be in full bloom.
My inner light fills the room.
I lean forward taking a closer look.
I am just as I am,
As I ought to be.
And I'm loving everything I see.
For the first time,
With my own eyes,
I can see me.
It took some time before I realized that I did not know myself or see myself as ought to. I only saw what my parents taught me to see. I saw a life not worth living beyond the service I provided. I put all others before myself, fulfilling their needs...my sole priority. I saw ability that would never be recognized and a thirst that would never be quenched. Deprivation was my reward and pain my only inheritance.
It's also very difficult to see yourself when you are not allowed to make even the most simple decisions for yourself. Hair was one of those things that seemed to be more of an issue than need be.
I used to sit in front of my mirror every evening and cry. My hair was always the same. Two or three ponytails with huge ribbons or bows that matched my outfit. This is how I looked everyday. I hated it and I hated my mother for making me look like this.
When I closed my eyes I could see myself with very long hair, but the hair looked strange to me. It looked like braids but it wasn't braided. I didn't know what locks were and had no idea that was the hairstyle I envisioned. I would also see myself with huge hair, wild and curly...unruly. I loved seeing myself like that. Then I'd open my eyes again to see what was still my reality and I retreated further into myself.
One day, I asked my mom if I could wear my hair braided. Absolutely not, she said. I asked, why? Mom turned to me as if to give a life lesson. She said, wearing your hair natural will only make you look ignorant. You must straighten your hair so people will think of you as intelligent. My heart sank and so did my head as I slowly walked back to my room to sit in front of my mirror and cry. I've never forgotten her words.
It would not be until I was in my mid 30s that I would be able to stand up to my mother and tell her how I wanted to wear my hair. I guess you may be wondering why it took so long for me to do this. All I can say is if you have to ask then you don't know what it is to have controlling parents. You can't begin to fathom what it is to be under such tight control and scrutiny. Every independent decision outside of what my parents wanted was made with great trembling and sacrifice. My parents did not take disobedience kindly and any act of disobedience was met with intense cruelty and degradation...no matter my age.
Finally, I broke free from one of the chains that bound me. I cut off all the permed hair and I wore my hair braided for a few years. A week before my 40th birthday I felt a strong urge to begin twisting my hair. I always knew I was going to lock my hair one day, but wasn't sure when. The day had come and I gave into the call. I wore my hair locked for 9 years. I loved my hair. The first time I looked in the mirror and saw my locks in their full light I knew I had finally seen the vision of myself that I saw so many years ago. For once, I stood in front of my mirror and smiled.
During the ninth year of my locks a terrible thing happened. My eczema took a turn for the worse spreading over most of my body including my scalp. Having no insurance at the time, I fought with all I had to remedy my skin, paying cash for doctor appointments to get prescriptions for topical ointments. I also used tea tree oil and soap (natural anti-fungal), a probiotic and diphenhydramine to help with itching. There was little I could do to and save my hair. My skin is much better, but my hair was lost. Locks fell daily, one sometimes two at a time. There was nothing I could do to save them. Each fallen lock was mourned and put away.
It's been about a year since loosing the first lock. I stood in front of my mirror looking at the few remaining locks and thought to myself...why are you hiding? I've spent the last year trying to hold on to something that cannot stay. All I could see was massive loss. My identity...my beauty...my independence...my strength and everything else my locks represented was gone. I've been stripped. There's no where else to hide.
About a month ago I cut off my remaining locks and placed them in a bag where all fallen locks are kept. I stood there squeezing the bag close to my chest, making peace with my decision. It is time for me to face myself. This time in my most natural state. My prayers were being answered, though I had not realized it yet.
I Am As I Am
One more look in the mirror.
There I stand.
Hair shorter than ever.
I began to cry,
Only this time it wasn't tears of sadness,
But tears of joy and relief.
I am free, I said.
No more hiding.
I no longer need my locks to be my identity.
Nor do I need my locks to be,
My strength, my beauty,
Or proclamation of indoctrination of my mind and spirit.
I am just as I am,
And ought to be.
For the first time I see me.
I am budding and soon will be in full bloom.
My inner light fills the room.
I lean forward taking a closer look.
I am just as I am,
As I ought to be.
And I'm loving everything I see.
For the first time,
With my own eyes,
I can see me.
Monday, March 2, 2015
The Power of Liberation
I woke up feeling good today. Adding a little exercise to my routine is working well for me. I'm not stressing about it. As a matter I appreciate wanting to take time to do something special for myself. I finally feel worthy of the goodness that I'm feeling and receiving...right now.
During my morning prayers I asked God to help me have the strength to do all that I would like to do today. I need help to make steps towards accomplishing long term goals. I can only focus on one day at a time, so I am learning to only ask for what I need for today.
After prayer time I started thinking about something that was on my heart and had been for the past few days. I've been working out with my cousin for about a week. The past two days I've worked extra hard to encourage my cousin to work out with me. She said she wanted to, but at the same time she manages to get my mind off working out and we end up focusing on some personal issue she's having. I overlooked it the first time, but the second time I got a little pissed. I promised myself this would not happen a third time. I don't have time to help someone who does not want to help themselves and I began to prepare my soapbox speech. As I rehearsed my speech something happened...I was liberated. I was liberated from all anger and angst. I came into an understand and found peace in this situation.
How many times have you witnessed someone do something or heard them say something that you didn't agree with and immediately you try to change them... Be honest... I am guilty of this. My cousin admitted something to me just before we started working out together. She said to me that she was lazy. Immediately I rejected the idea and I wanted her to change. I questioned why she would admit to such a thing. She was simply stating her truth. The only thing wrong with that was that I did not want to believe or accept her truth.
I know she said she wanted to lose weight and I believe her. But she has to make the choice to help herself. I can't do that for her. I can only acknowledge and accept her truth as it is. I cannot change her, so I liberate myself. I do not have the strength or ability to carry her issues. I'm just now finding the strength to deal with my own. So I liberate myself. I accept my cousin in her truth weather I agree with her truth or not. I liberate myself. I am no longer angry about her excuses. I liberate myself. God will provide my cousin with everything she needs when the time comes, if it should come for her to seriously do something about her weight. I am not responsible for my cousin's actions or decisions. I liberate myself!!!
I liberate myself so that I may see all that God has given me to succeed in my goals today.
Liberate yourself today!! Ask God for help. Stop dragging the problems of others into your life. Focus on what you need to accomplish for yourself today. Allow yourself time for yourself even if only for 30 minutes. See yourself in YOUR truth today. And if you are truly ready to make a move in a healthier direction whatever that direction...
Then by all means begin today! Don't let anyone or anything stand in your way.
During my morning prayers I asked God to help me have the strength to do all that I would like to do today. I need help to make steps towards accomplishing long term goals. I can only focus on one day at a time, so I am learning to only ask for what I need for today.
After prayer time I started thinking about something that was on my heart and had been for the past few days. I've been working out with my cousin for about a week. The past two days I've worked extra hard to encourage my cousin to work out with me. She said she wanted to, but at the same time she manages to get my mind off working out and we end up focusing on some personal issue she's having. I overlooked it the first time, but the second time I got a little pissed. I promised myself this would not happen a third time. I don't have time to help someone who does not want to help themselves and I began to prepare my soapbox speech. As I rehearsed my speech something happened...I was liberated. I was liberated from all anger and angst. I came into an understand and found peace in this situation.
How many times have you witnessed someone do something or heard them say something that you didn't agree with and immediately you try to change them... Be honest... I am guilty of this. My cousin admitted something to me just before we started working out together. She said to me that she was lazy. Immediately I rejected the idea and I wanted her to change. I questioned why she would admit to such a thing. She was simply stating her truth. The only thing wrong with that was that I did not want to believe or accept her truth.
I know she said she wanted to lose weight and I believe her. But she has to make the choice to help herself. I can't do that for her. I can only acknowledge and accept her truth as it is. I cannot change her, so I liberate myself. I do not have the strength or ability to carry her issues. I'm just now finding the strength to deal with my own. So I liberate myself. I accept my cousin in her truth weather I agree with her truth or not. I liberate myself. I am no longer angry about her excuses. I liberate myself. God will provide my cousin with everything she needs when the time comes, if it should come for her to seriously do something about her weight. I am not responsible for my cousin's actions or decisions. I liberate myself!!!
I liberate myself so that I may see all that God has given me to succeed in my goals today.
I am liberated from that which is not profitable to my spirit!
Liberate yourself today!! Ask God for help. Stop dragging the problems of others into your life. Focus on what you need to accomplish for yourself today. Allow yourself time for yourself even if only for 30 minutes. See yourself in YOUR truth today. And if you are truly ready to make a move in a healthier direction whatever that direction...
Then by all means begin today! Don't let anyone or anything stand in your way.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Feeling Inspired
I was skyping with my cousin a few days ago. She was depressed about her weight and other health issues. We talked for a long time. I know what it's like to say you want to do something for yourself and not be able to do it. I'm sure those who've read this blog have seen my struggles with that very subject.
It wasn't that long ago when I was saying the same things my cousin said to me. I knew that I wanted to do more for myself, but could not bring myself to follow through. Changing my eating habits alone is not enough for me to obtain my goals...at least the goals I've set for dealing with my body image.
Anyway, my cousin and I talked extensively about the costs of gym memberships. Even the YMCA is costly and neither one of us has an extra $350 lying around to pay for a yearly membership. Then it hits me. What is my favorite go to place when I'm looking for information on most anything? (drum roll) YouTube!
It didn't take long for me to find a long line of health and fitness videos. I only had to narrow it down to something that we both can do and enjoy. Due to health issues, my cousin's mobility is limited and due to my having been inactive for so long I need to crawl my way back into a good fitness routine. What I found addressed both of our needs. There is a short series of videos designed for people having limited mobility. Does not matter if you are limited because of weight, health or age. It is also designed for beginning fitness enthusiasts as well. What I like most about these videos is there step program which starts off with exercise routines done from a sitting position and slowly works you up to doing full workouts from a standing position. How cool is that?!
I strongly recommend for anyone who has not worked out in a very long time like myself or is starting to work out for the very first time to consult your physician about starting any exercise program.
One of my most favorite aspects of these videos is that fact that you start from a sitting position. If I'm not working with my son, also usually from a sitting position, I am at my desk working on different projects. I do get up frequently to check on my son, get housework done and cook, but it's not enough movement to make a difference in my health. I can safely say the majority of my days is spent in a sitting position. These videos are just perfect for me. What better way to begin incorporating exercise into my daily routine?! It's easy, affordable, workable and proving to be beneficial.
WARNING: For those who are sensitive to seeing exercise activity please do not watch the video below.
Here is the video of Stage 1, episode 1 Workout Launchpad - Beginner Stage
I think this is a wonderful way to get moving even if you are in relatively good shape. I'm enjoying how I feel about myself after completing this work out. It's done wonders for me just to know that I am important enough to myself to take 26 minutes to do something wonderful and beneficial just for me.
I am still doing well with eating. I've taken on a new love and appreciation for my home cooking and love...love...love cooking healthy, delicious meals for myself and my family.
I still have a late snack on occasion and I've had 1 or 2 nights where the call to binge was stronger than it had been for awhile. It was very short lived. My eating schedule is better and I feel good...not just good...also good about myself. That is what's most important to me know...feeling good about myself.
Onward and Upward!!!!
Hugs to you all! Keep up the good fight.
It wasn't that long ago when I was saying the same things my cousin said to me. I knew that I wanted to do more for myself, but could not bring myself to follow through. Changing my eating habits alone is not enough for me to obtain my goals...at least the goals I've set for dealing with my body image.
Anyway, my cousin and I talked extensively about the costs of gym memberships. Even the YMCA is costly and neither one of us has an extra $350 lying around to pay for a yearly membership. Then it hits me. What is my favorite go to place when I'm looking for information on most anything? (drum roll) YouTube!
It didn't take long for me to find a long line of health and fitness videos. I only had to narrow it down to something that we both can do and enjoy. Due to health issues, my cousin's mobility is limited and due to my having been inactive for so long I need to crawl my way back into a good fitness routine. What I found addressed both of our needs. There is a short series of videos designed for people having limited mobility. Does not matter if you are limited because of weight, health or age. It is also designed for beginning fitness enthusiasts as well. What I like most about these videos is there step program which starts off with exercise routines done from a sitting position and slowly works you up to doing full workouts from a standing position. How cool is that?!
I strongly recommend for anyone who has not worked out in a very long time like myself or is starting to work out for the very first time to consult your physician about starting any exercise program.
One of my most favorite aspects of these videos is that fact that you start from a sitting position. If I'm not working with my son, also usually from a sitting position, I am at my desk working on different projects. I do get up frequently to check on my son, get housework done and cook, but it's not enough movement to make a difference in my health. I can safely say the majority of my days is spent in a sitting position. These videos are just perfect for me. What better way to begin incorporating exercise into my daily routine?! It's easy, affordable, workable and proving to be beneficial.
WARNING: For those who are sensitive to seeing exercise activity please do not watch the video below.
Here is the video of Stage 1, episode 1 Workout Launchpad - Beginner Stage
I think this is a wonderful way to get moving even if you are in relatively good shape. I'm enjoying how I feel about myself after completing this work out. It's done wonders for me just to know that I am important enough to myself to take 26 minutes to do something wonderful and beneficial just for me.
I am still doing well with eating. I've taken on a new love and appreciation for my home cooking and love...love...love cooking healthy, delicious meals for myself and my family.
I still have a late snack on occasion and I've had 1 or 2 nights where the call to binge was stronger than it had been for awhile. It was very short lived. My eating schedule is better and I feel good...not just good...also good about myself. That is what's most important to me know...feeling good about myself.
Onward and Upward!!!!
Hugs to you all! Keep up the good fight.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Sharing Thoughts
How are you doing? I hope life is going well for you. Even
more, I hope your healing is going well. Everything is good for me right now. I’m
feeling much better about my circumstances. That’s not to say that there aren’t
any problems. I’m simply making an effort to see things differently. Perhaps
that is my greatest issue. I’ve not been able to consistently see things
differently or let go of my past. I keep dragging it around with me comparing
all of life’s little blips to the mishaps and traumas of unfortunate parenting
which set the tone for my life. I was worthless in the eyes of my parents, but
that was then. They are gone and can no longer hurt me. So why is it that I
still feel like the wounded child? In part, it is because there is a part of me
that is still wounded. It is that part of me that I must address because
healing in that area will change much of my outlook in other areas.
How do the wounded help the wounded? They don’t. They can’t. Them that are actively licking their wounds cannot help the wounded. Why? When a wound hurts it takes almost if not all of our attention to deal with it. Even when trying to ignore wounds they command our attention. If it weren’t true than there would be no overuse or addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex or any other kind of vice utilized to sooth and self-medicate the pain away. Some wounds command so much attention that it literally takes every waking moment to drown them out. A wounded person who is well into the recovery process can offer much help and words of wisdom. Sharing your story helps others as well as grounds you and keeps you focused on your own goals. Keep in mind not to get overly caught up in the wounds of another. It’s all too easy to become fixated on the problems of others and lose all control of our own issues.
How do the wounded help the wounded? They don’t. They can’t. Them that are actively licking their wounds cannot help the wounded. Why? When a wound hurts it takes almost if not all of our attention to deal with it. Even when trying to ignore wounds they command our attention. If it weren’t true than there would be no overuse or addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex or any other kind of vice utilized to sooth and self-medicate the pain away. Some wounds command so much attention that it literally takes every waking moment to drown them out. A wounded person who is well into the recovery process can offer much help and words of wisdom. Sharing your story helps others as well as grounds you and keeps you focused on your own goals. Keep in mind not to get overly caught up in the wounds of another. It’s all too easy to become fixated on the problems of others and lose all control of our own issues.
Being a person of faith, I am taught to keep my mind on the
Lord, be prayerful and turn my problems over to Him. Well, I haven’t been good
about doing that lately and that explains why my problems seem larger than
life. I am a prayerful person, but prayer alone does not work. Please don’t be
shocked or confused by what I am saying. I believe in the power of prayer,
however, if I am praying for help and do not fully trust that God is able and
will help, than I’m really praying in vain. I’m still holding onto problems
instead of letting them go and trusting God. When that happens, the weight of
my world multiplies and it literally takes me off my feet.
On the other hand when I pray diligently and turn my
problems over to God, trusting that God will take care of them and me. It
changes the way I pray about problems. Instead of saying please help me with a
specific problem, I might chose to say, thank you for taking on all of my
problems and please fortify me that I may withstand whatever comes my way
today. In asking for fortification I am seeking help and protection while acknowledging
the problems I have are too great for me to handle by myself. In other words,
it doesn’t benefit me to say I am turning over my problems while spinning the
wheels of my mind searching for solutions.
Praying and turning my problems over to God does not mean that I am forgetting, neglecting or ignoring them. It simply means that I am trusting God to take care of my problems as I go about my day focusing more on what I can accomplish in the day as opposed to focusing on my problems. I am patiently trusting God while going about my days, always being mindful and prayerful about all things. Does that make sense?
Praying and turning my problems over to God does not mean that I am forgetting, neglecting or ignoring them. It simply means that I am trusting God to take care of my problems as I go about my day focusing more on what I can accomplish in the day as opposed to focusing on my problems. I am patiently trusting God while going about my days, always being mindful and prayerful about all things. Does that make sense?
When I was going through so much a few months ago I did not
realize that I was holding on to my problems. I remember talking to God one
evening and telling him that my pain was so great that I could not feel Him or
hear Him. It was like God turned away from me. In fact, it was I who turned
away from Him. I turned my focus towards my problems, not God. I trembled day
and night…even in my sleep. I’d wake up holding myself and rocking. Anxiety was
through the roof and hope was fading fast. My faith was being tested and I fear
that I failed miserably.
Life continues to be plagued with little things gone wrong. Some
days all the little things add up to be big things. I try not to let it get me
down. Most important, I am learning not to operate out of emotions from the
past, but to recognize that I am not that wounded child. Only a small part of
me is wounded and I will address that part as needed. Unpleasant experiences of
my past do not dictate the unpleasant experiences of today. I am learning to
deal with problems better, not internalize them or categorize them into a
convenient pre-packaged stock emotion from my childhood.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
At Storms End
In life we all will experience storms. Some storms pass through quickly and others linger for what seems like an eternity. No matter the size or duration, all storms leave their mark.
As you know, I have been experiencing many storms. This past storm lasted 6 months and is now coming to its end. The storms I speak of are the storms of life which can be financial, relationships, physical health, mental health or spiritual health...whatever. For me it could be either or a combination of all. It just depends...
With each storm there is the potential to fall back into the hard to break habit of binging and starving. Even though I have fallen several times, I have not stayed in the cycle long. This is a great improvement. During the last leg of my most recent storm I have been able to maintain a healthier eating style. Every morning like clock work, I rise out of bed, give my son his meds, say my prayers and cook breakfast.
Remember when it was difficult for me to deal with breakfast? How I used to start each day with a pack of cheese crackers? It may have taken a few months and a couple back steps, but I seldom give into the urge to starve myself. As far as binging...well, as with anything, it is a work in progress. Every part of me is a work in progress and progress is what I am seeing.
I know I say this often, but it reins true for anyone who struggles with ED or addiction of any kind.
There are days when I feel stronger and there are days when I feel that failure is my only companion. Today I feel strong. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I'm not going to worry about it. I'm only focusing on what I can handle in this moment while giving thanks for the strides I've made and the resources for healing that I've gained.
No matter how bad things may seem from one moment to the next...keep up the good fight...
DON'T GIVE UP!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to all of you! Thank you so much for allowing me into your lives and being a part of my journey.
My wish for you is that you have a blessed and prosperous future, not only monetarily prosperous, but spiritually prosperous. I hope that you are able to take more steps towards healing and happiness and know that you are worth it. I want you to know that you are wonderful, beautiful, passionate and thoughtful. You were created for wonderful things, not the things that hurt your or plague you. You are capable of loving others as well as yourself and you are worthy of receiving the good things of life.
Happy New Year to you, my friends! You are always in my thoughts and prayers. :-)
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