My Aha Moment

I had an aha moment yesterday. It came to me when I unexpectedly experienced a brief moment of mourning while celebrating an accomplishment. Whenever I can, I like to take a few quiet moments to reflect on the things I've been blessed to achieve in my day. I also like to check in with myself to see if I've been able to do a little better than yesterday. This is my way of making mental notes of progress and pitfalls. I find it beneficial to be fully aware of both.


There was a post that I wrote a few days ago. I spoke of deserving to feel good and how the negativity of others was weighing me down, sometimes making me feel guilty for feeling good. It's not always noticeable at first. To be honest I don't think the looming negativity became relevant in my conscious mind until I focused on getting out of my own negative space. That is when all other negativity started to surface and I find myself wanting to be rid of it. Negativity can seep into your conscious and fester like a disease. It can spread into every facet of your being if not careful. Be mindful of the negativity that surrounds you.


I celebrated moving out of a negative space, but in that moment of celebration I began to feel a sense of mourning, like the loss of an old acquaintance. That old acquaintance was my self-loathing. I mourned it because I recognized it leaving. It's been a part of me for so long. I knew it well and it was being replaced by positive feelings which I am not that familiar with. Question: Could this be why it's so hard for people to let go of the bad thing in their lives? Maybe because the bad things are what we are most familiar with and good things are not trusted to be everlasting.


That was my aha moment. I allowed myself to mourn the loss of a measure of negativity and I welcomed the good that settle in. The good is still here.


How do you cope with the bad things in your life? Do you deal with them? Ignore them? Bury them? Hold on to them?


Are you as frightened as I am to let go of the familiar? Do you embrace the good that you deserve or question its authenticity?


Have you ever found yourself in a moment of happiness only to face gripping fear of something terrible taking all of the happiness away?


You're not alone. I live with these questions and fears everyday. So know when that moment of goodness and truth comes in, take it for what it's worth and strive for more. When you find yourself celebrating accomplishing something wonderful, allow yourself to release the negativity that preceded it. Allow yourself to be free in that moment.


I did not binge last night. Breakfast was a little late today, around 11:30am. I had eggs with chicken and a large glass of water. I did not get around to eating lunch. For dinner I had red rice with veggies and smoked turkey sausage and a large glass of water. I will have a premeasured snack set aside for tonight if needed.


I wanting to focus a little more on weight loss and plan to do so, however I'm not strong enough for it to be a primary goal. It's too soon. I fear starving myself will come into play if I make my weight a focal point.


A good friend challenged me to try something different. I have recently made a commitment to try eating a slice of rye bread each morning for breakfast. I am not a fan of rye bread, but I'm willing to give it a shot. My understanding is that rye bread helps with weight loss, cholesterol, constipation and blood sugars. So, I'll be starting my new trend on Monday of next week. I'll let you know if I see any results. I will not post my weight, but I will let you know if I've lost any pounds and or ounces.