April 4, 2014

I'm feeling a little unwanted and underappreciated right now. My understanding is this is a norm when you're raising a teenager. I don't mind so much, as I believe teens think parents are ancient and clueless.


I don't talk about my son much here because he is not the cause of my eating problem. My son is a source of joy and wonder. All thanks and praises be to God who saw me worthy to have and take care of this precious life. However, my precious one woke up a teenager one day and things began to change.


Today I went out to run a few short errands. While out I thought it would be nice to pick up some of my son's favorite chicken. Not to mention that I also got a few of his favorite treats from the grocery store. I got home, he helped with the groceries and then proceeded to isolate himself away from me. At first I talked myself out of taking it personal, but then I went in to my room which is right next to the den. My son recognized that I was going to be in my room for awhile. He turned off the tv and went into his room shutting, the door behind him. Okay, typical teen behavior...right?


I finished changing clothes and proceeded to go to my office to check my email before retreating to the kitchen. My office is across the hall from my son's room. Again, I must have invaded his space because he immediately retreated back to the den which is furthest from my office. By this time I started to take this behavior personally. Is this a big deal? No. But I wanted to get it off my chest because I have an issue with being unwanted and it felt a little like that today.


It didn't take me long to brush the feeling off. My son is not evil like my parents were. I know that he loves his mom and I also know that he cherishes his space. I'm glad that he is coming into his own. When raising a child on the spectrum, you don't always know what your going to get until the moment comes. In many ways, my son is not like the average teen, but in many ways he is and that's what makes him so unique. Ah, I get it now... Maybe that's why some people refer to being autistic as being a fruit salad...because you get something different in every bite. That makes sense.


Anyway, It's been a very good day. My son is still lovingly in the den. He did stop by to give me the sweetest kiss on the cheek. That's good enough for me. Take care my sweet one. Don't grow up too fast.


For breakfast I had eggs with cheese and a large glass of water. Lunch was a chicken sandwich. Dinner was pretty early, we ate at 5:30. I had two pieces of my son's favorite fried chicken, okra and mac-n-cheese with a med. strawberry soda. I've prepared a small fruit snack for later.