Happy Saturday!
It's a beautiful day. The weather is perfect and I am feeling good. There haven't been many days where I could say that I really felt good. I do today. May this feeling last forever...
As I mentioned to you on Thursday. I finished recording the voices for the poem, They Them Us Me. Yesterday morning my friend called very exited about the project. He's going to work on the tracks over the weekend and Then I will go into the studio next week to work with him on final touches. This is part of the reason I feel so good today. The other thing that's making me feel good is my continuing to eat better during the day. It has not been perfect. Sometimes I get started a little later than wanted, but not due to depression or lack of appetite. I've been busy doing things...accomplishing things...planning things. It's been good.
Yesterday I had a few down moments. I was thinking about my eczema and how it's ravaged most of my body and taken a good portion of my hair. I've been avoiding dealing with my hair because I did not want to be reminded of my loss. Today I washed my hair. I almost backed out of it. I wanted not to care. I wanted not to feel the pain. I wanted not to feel like a leper. As I towel dried my hair I said to myself, "I am committed to working on loving myself even when it's hard." I usually say the entire sentence when standing in front of the mirror. This time it was different. The words had more meaning. Even thought I only stated part of the sentence, it was what I needed to hear at the time.
I am committed to working on loving myself even when it's hard. As soon as I said the words I instantly felt better. I'm feeling reassured about loving myself and doing good things for myself no matter how hard it may be. That's what it's all about. Being able to love yourself enough to do good things for yourself even when you have difficulty doing them. I'm starting to feel love for myself. It can be an uphill battle sometimes. I don't make it easy, but I realize that I'm worth it. I am worth the extra effort.
Baby steps do turn into big steps.
My eczema is improving some. It will take time. I have faith that I will heal from this as well and be restored or perhaps be even better.
For breakfast today I had 2 eggs with left over veggies and a large glass of water. Lunch was pretty light, I had cheese and crackers with pears and a large glass of water. For dinner I am having a 6 inch chicken philly sub and small fry with a large glass of water.
Showing posts with label Self Worth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Worth. Show all posts
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Saturday, March 29, 2014
7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough by Madison Sonnier
Good afternoon everyone! I came across a post on a blog written by Madison Sonnier on a wonderful page Beating Eating Disorders. It is an excellent post! I would imagine her blog is excellent to. Planning on following her. Here's the link.
7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough/
When you get the chance stop by Beating Eating Disorder's page. They have a lot of good information and videos there.
7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough/
When you get the chance stop by Beating Eating Disorder's page. They have a lot of good information and videos there.
Monday, March 10, 2014
March 10, 2014
It's Monday. All business issues have come to a head. One by one things are getting done. Please God let this wave of misfortune end soon. And I thank you for the good fortune of providing solutions to all my problems.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just getting there, that's the hard part. My hands are trembling. I've been carrying an open pack of peanut butter crackers around for the last hour and a half. The phone's ringing off the hook. Constant jumping from circumstance to circumstance. I'm not built for this. My stomach is in knots and my head is beginning to hurt. Anxiety level's rising.
I ate my peanut butter crackers around noon. I did not remember to get water. There wasn't enough time to eat lunch before therapy and dinner was something from McDonalds. I finished eating at 6:27pm. I'm happy to report that I didn't buy anything extra this time. Instead I will prepare a healthy snack of peanut butter and apples for late night.
So much has been going on today. Thank goodness I had a therapy appointment. I managed to eek out enough time to jot down a few items for discussion and highlights of progress I've made. I've been working very hard on myself and am eager to talk about the revelations and epiphanies. That may seem strange considering I've been having so many ups and downs this week. There is much more going on than the day-to-day trials of business and food intake issues.
I'm feeling calm and centered after a thorough purging at therapy. My eating was off today and still I experienced a physical hunger sensation at 3:47pm. Despite my being off, my body continues cueing me to eat. That is a very good sign. Slowly but surely things are getting better, even on off days. All in all today has been a good and productive day. It started off a bit shaky, but got much better as time went on.
Sometimes I have to remind myself not to always see the worse case scenario when trouble comes my way. Note to self: Continue working on having the courage to face obstacles. Try hard to see problems as fixable. Use calming technics to center myself and ward off feelings of impending doom when stressors are developing. Continue working on ways to manage my stress and anxiety levels through positive thoughts and affirmations. Last but not least, continue increasing daytime caloric intake. That is a must.
I have not done any exercise yet. Originally I wanted to start a couple days ago exercising 10-15 minutes per day. That's okay. To get myself started...wait...let me re-frame that. To keep my word, my promise to myself I will do at least 5 minutes exercise tonight. This will be part of my affirmation. That I am worthy of receiving and doing good things for myself. In order to foster a feeling of worthiness and self worth I will need to be better about keeping promises to myself. That begins tonight. I pray that one day soon, being good to myself won't be such a chore.
I'm tired, too tired to revisit memories tonight. Perhaps we can continue that discussions tomorrow. In the meantime take care, don't be too hard on yourself. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to do better and be better.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just getting there, that's the hard part. My hands are trembling. I've been carrying an open pack of peanut butter crackers around for the last hour and a half. The phone's ringing off the hook. Constant jumping from circumstance to circumstance. I'm not built for this. My stomach is in knots and my head is beginning to hurt. Anxiety level's rising.
I ate my peanut butter crackers around noon. I did not remember to get water. There wasn't enough time to eat lunch before therapy and dinner was something from McDonalds. I finished eating at 6:27pm. I'm happy to report that I didn't buy anything extra this time. Instead I will prepare a healthy snack of peanut butter and apples for late night.
So much has been going on today. Thank goodness I had a therapy appointment. I managed to eek out enough time to jot down a few items for discussion and highlights of progress I've made. I've been working very hard on myself and am eager to talk about the revelations and epiphanies. That may seem strange considering I've been having so many ups and downs this week. There is much more going on than the day-to-day trials of business and food intake issues.
I'm feeling calm and centered after a thorough purging at therapy. My eating was off today and still I experienced a physical hunger sensation at 3:47pm. Despite my being off, my body continues cueing me to eat. That is a very good sign. Slowly but surely things are getting better, even on off days. All in all today has been a good and productive day. It started off a bit shaky, but got much better as time went on.
Sometimes I have to remind myself not to always see the worse case scenario when trouble comes my way. Note to self: Continue working on having the courage to face obstacles. Try hard to see problems as fixable. Use calming technics to center myself and ward off feelings of impending doom when stressors are developing. Continue working on ways to manage my stress and anxiety levels through positive thoughts and affirmations. Last but not least, continue increasing daytime caloric intake. That is a must.
I have not done any exercise yet. Originally I wanted to start a couple days ago exercising 10-15 minutes per day. That's okay. To get myself started...wait...let me re-frame that. To keep my word, my promise to myself I will do at least 5 minutes exercise tonight. This will be part of my affirmation. That I am worthy of receiving and doing good things for myself. In order to foster a feeling of worthiness and self worth I will need to be better about keeping promises to myself. That begins tonight. I pray that one day soon, being good to myself won't be such a chore.
I'm tired, too tired to revisit memories tonight. Perhaps we can continue that discussions tomorrow. In the meantime take care, don't be too hard on yourself. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to do better and be better.
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