May 3, 2014

Happy Saturday!


It's a beautiful day. The weather is perfect and I am feeling good. There haven't been many days where I could say that I really felt good. I do today. May this feeling last forever...


As I mentioned to you on Thursday. I finished recording the voices for the poem, They Them Us Me. Yesterday morning my friend called very exited about the project. He's going to work on the tracks over the weekend and Then I will go into the studio next week to work with him on final touches. This is part of the reason I feel so good today. The other thing that's making me feel good is my continuing to eat better during the day. It has not been perfect. Sometimes I get started a little later than wanted, but not due to depression or lack of appetite. I've been busy doing things...accomplishing things...planning things. It's been good.


Yesterday I had a few down moments. I was thinking about my eczema and how it's ravaged most of my body and taken a good portion of my hair. I've been avoiding dealing with my hair because I did not want to be reminded of my loss. Today I washed my hair. I almost backed out of it. I wanted not to care. I wanted not to feel the pain. I wanted not to feel like a leper. As I towel dried my hair I said to myself, "I am committed to working on loving myself even when it's hard." I usually say the entire sentence when standing in front of the mirror. This time it was different. The words had more meaning. Even thought I only stated part of the sentence, it was what I needed to hear at the time.


I am committed to working on loving myself even when it's hard. As soon as I said the words I instantly felt better. I'm feeling reassured about loving myself and doing good things for myself no matter how hard it may be. That's what it's all about. Being able to love yourself enough to do good things for yourself even when you have difficulty doing them. I'm starting to feel love for myself. It can be an uphill battle sometimes. I don't make it easy, but I realize that I'm worth it. I am worth the extra effort.


Baby steps do turn into big steps.


My eczema is improving some. It will take time. I have faith that I will heal from this as well and be restored or perhaps be even better. 


For breakfast today I had 2 eggs with left over veggies and a large glass of water. Lunch was pretty light, I had cheese and crackers with pears and a large glass of water. For dinner I am having a 6 inch chicken philly sub and small fry with a large glass of water.