Embrace the journey, one precious step at a time.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Friday, January 1, 2016
We Did It! 2015 Reflection
We made it through another holiday season. How are you doing? I wait patiently for your answers. I know I can't hear you, but I sense some of you are quietly answering. I hope you are doing well. I especially hope ED was not the center of attention this holiday season. If ED was, than let's begin a new. Let's not focus on yesterday. Yesterday's gone. Let's not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. I will say this much for tomorrow, it is the first day of the rest of our lives. Have you ever thought of that? Yeah, tomorrow is the 1st day of the rest of our lives. Wow, we get a lot of fresh starts don't we.
I'm doing well. Happy to see 2016. Last year started off being pretty intense, but soon became a series of beautiful experiences. Over the past few years I've been going through many positive changes and learning more about myself as well as my past. The process of healing from my past...well, it's been eye opening and life changing. It's really better than that, but I don't have the words to express just how wonderful challenging it has been. I guess I'm too caught up in being grateful. I'll take that for now. Maybe the words will come later...than again, maybe not. Maybe I've said just enough.
Out of the past three years being on this journey, 2015 was definitely the year of putting away the old self and bringing in the new. It's been a matter of shedding the old state of mind and being introduced to the new state of mind. The old state of mind made it difficult to want better for myself, love myself and commit to doing healthy things for myself. The most difficult was shedding unhealthy relationships. What can I say, it's hard to want good when all you know is bad. I didn't know what good felt like or looked like, not really. Growing up, my only examples were, "Leave It to Beaver", "The Andy Griffith Show" and "The Cosby Show." Isn't that something. How can we want better when we don't know what better feels like?
There were many firsts last year. One being my commitment to self and to loving myself. I'm able to enjoy getting to know myself intimately. Intimate meaning to know myself below the surface, seeing past flesh and bone; past the carefully orchestrated, finely tuned niceties of a well crafted persona. I've been able to take a long look at self. The good, the bad, the bitter the sad and happiness. I remember what happiness felt like before it all changed. And I'm glad I recognize true happiness' return.
The holiday season has come to it's end. Thank goodness. It's been a good season. I've had a few bumps, but I'm still here and I'm still making strides. Life is not going to be perfect, but it can be a heck of a lot better. That's what I'm looking forward to...better.
I can't begin to imagine what this year holds. I am curious and hopeful and I'm also smart enough to know that I don't need to worry about it. I'm going to take it one day at a time. That's as much as I can handle.
I hope today is going well for you and I hope tomorrow is even better.
Well, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Goodnight, blessings and happy new beginnings.
I'm doing well. Happy to see 2016. Last year started off being pretty intense, but soon became a series of beautiful experiences. Over the past few years I've been going through many positive changes and learning more about myself as well as my past. The process of healing from my past...well, it's been eye opening and life changing. It's really better than that, but I don't have the words to express just how wonderful challenging it has been. I guess I'm too caught up in being grateful. I'll take that for now. Maybe the words will come later...than again, maybe not. Maybe I've said just enough.
Out of the past three years being on this journey, 2015 was definitely the year of putting away the old self and bringing in the new. It's been a matter of shedding the old state of mind and being introduced to the new state of mind. The old state of mind made it difficult to want better for myself, love myself and commit to doing healthy things for myself. The most difficult was shedding unhealthy relationships. What can I say, it's hard to want good when all you know is bad. I didn't know what good felt like or looked like, not really. Growing up, my only examples were, "Leave It to Beaver", "The Andy Griffith Show" and "The Cosby Show." Isn't that something. How can we want better when we don't know what better feels like?
There were many firsts last year. One being my commitment to self and to loving myself. I'm able to enjoy getting to know myself intimately. Intimate meaning to know myself below the surface, seeing past flesh and bone; past the carefully orchestrated, finely tuned niceties of a well crafted persona. I've been able to take a long look at self. The good, the bad, the bitter the sad and happiness. I remember what happiness felt like before it all changed. And I'm glad I recognize true happiness' return.
The holiday season has come to it's end. Thank goodness. It's been a good season. I've had a few bumps, but I'm still here and I'm still making strides. Life is not going to be perfect, but it can be a heck of a lot better. That's what I'm looking forward to...better.
I can't begin to imagine what this year holds. I am curious and hopeful and I'm also smart enough to know that I don't need to worry about it. I'm going to take it one day at a time. That's as much as I can handle.
I hope today is going well for you and I hope tomorrow is even better.
Well, I guess that's enough rambling for now. Goodnight, blessings and happy new beginnings.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
A Promise Renewed
2015 fades and a new year arises. Welcome to 2016. Each day we are blessed to receive bares a promise renewed. God does not go back on His word. His promises are true. It is but for you to receive and believe.
Psalm 84:11-12 (NKJV)
"11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly."
I sit and stare out at a starry sky,
Thinking of the many days and nights that molded this past year.
A year met with much trembling and fear.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of loss.
Pain.
Hope defunct.
Numb on the outside,
Spirit bludgeoned.
Broken and hollow.
I can't feel You,
But I know You are here.
Through tears,
A silent prayer for respite.
"Set your affections on the things above,"
Wrench away the corruption of fleshly mind.
Lay me in spiritual garments.
A new day is here,
And so it come,
A promise renewed.
Inhale...exhale,
I rise out of ash,
To receive the promise.
Change.
I see through different eyes.
I wear a different skin.
The old life passes away.
A new life begins.
In the days and nights to come,
A promise renews,
You don't have to ask.
For it has already been given.
Many Blessings to you and the newness of life.
Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 27, 2015
The Heaviness of Numbers
Wow! I'm actually at my computer during the light of day. This is great! Hey, I hope I wasn't too preachy last night or should I say early this morning. I wasn't trying to preach, I just needed to purge. Usually when I ramble on like that I am speaking to myself. Saying things out loud helps to make them tangible to me. I also get very exited when I'm blessed to see the changes that are manifesting in me. Changes that I could only have hoped for in the past are now coming into the light. With each day I become a little more free.
I'm still exploring this thing called freedom and I'm still discovering how deep freedom is. I don't think I've even begun to scratch the surface, but what has been revealed to me sure feels good. Freedom does not come easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I've written a post on the subject before. Perhaps I should have read it before writing this post. Forgive me if I am being redundant.
Sometimes it feels like my posts are jumping all over the place. I don't think I'm able to write like some in a beautiful, gradual succession. I'm more in the moment with my writing. This is something I've just recently become aware of. I tend to write whatever is on my mind in the present. Doesn't matter if it relates to previous posts or not. And then there are times when I am able to write on a subject and work my way into a tandem style format. Okay, I've finished rambling.
I'm still doing well with my exercise. I'm not fully committed to the additional exercise, but I do get to it as my energy and time allow. Which means I will need to make more time to accomplish this goal. I will have to make it a priority just like my nighttime workout.
I discovered something new about myself during one of my workouts. When I'm most at peace I don't count reps or anything. I just move and I think and I meditate on things. What matters most are the freeness of thought, quiet of mind and time. Counting limits me. It seems when I get to a certain number I'm more inclined to stop, however, on a good night I push to reach higher numbers. Workouts like this usually last about 25 minutes or so. When counting is left out of the equation and mindfulness enters my workouts last much longer, sometimes as much as an hour or more. Amazing isn't it. Do you count when you work out or do you just move? Do you think it would make a difference to you? Hmmm, pretty significant if you ask me. Makes me want to explore the heaviness of numbers and why numbers and counting don't always serve me well.
I wonder if anyone else has thought of this. I've noticed in some ED groups numbers are not allowed. You are not to discuss weight, food measurements, body measurements or anything of the kind. So what is it about numbers that weighs so heavily with us? Maybe numbers add extra pressure. I don't know. Like the pressure to do better, lose more weight, or eat less food.
Maybe numbers lend themselves to future obsessions like being extreme about cutting back on the number of calories or increasing the number of reps to maximize fat burning at an unhealthy rate or constantly checking the scale. How do numbers make you feel? Do you feel pressure when or if you focus on numbers as part of your process to healing from ED?
Numbers can discourage. There have been times when I've exercised rigorously for months only to step on the scale and see little to no change.
Anyway, if you find numbers to be heavy in your process, maybe focus on them less and focus on you more...your thoughts...your feelings and how good it feels just to move. Get lost in time if you can and allow the quiet stillness of your mind to take over. See how you feel afterwards. You may like it or you may not. Give it try. Explore. There will be days when I chose to count and there will be days when I allow myself to drift into mental stillness while moving. I like having the variations.
As always, onward and upward.
Company will be arriving soon. Better get ready. Take care my lovelies. Talk to you soon.
I'm still exploring this thing called freedom and I'm still discovering how deep freedom is. I don't think I've even begun to scratch the surface, but what has been revealed to me sure feels good. Freedom does not come easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I've written a post on the subject before. Perhaps I should have read it before writing this post. Forgive me if I am being redundant.
Sometimes it feels like my posts are jumping all over the place. I don't think I'm able to write like some in a beautiful, gradual succession. I'm more in the moment with my writing. This is something I've just recently become aware of. I tend to write whatever is on my mind in the present. Doesn't matter if it relates to previous posts or not. And then there are times when I am able to write on a subject and work my way into a tandem style format. Okay, I've finished rambling.
I'm still doing well with my exercise. I'm not fully committed to the additional exercise, but I do get to it as my energy and time allow. Which means I will need to make more time to accomplish this goal. I will have to make it a priority just like my nighttime workout.
I discovered something new about myself during one of my workouts. When I'm most at peace I don't count reps or anything. I just move and I think and I meditate on things. What matters most are the freeness of thought, quiet of mind and time. Counting limits me. It seems when I get to a certain number I'm more inclined to stop, however, on a good night I push to reach higher numbers. Workouts like this usually last about 25 minutes or so. When counting is left out of the equation and mindfulness enters my workouts last much longer, sometimes as much as an hour or more. Amazing isn't it. Do you count when you work out or do you just move? Do you think it would make a difference to you? Hmmm, pretty significant if you ask me. Makes me want to explore the heaviness of numbers and why numbers and counting don't always serve me well.
I wonder if anyone else has thought of this. I've noticed in some ED groups numbers are not allowed. You are not to discuss weight, food measurements, body measurements or anything of the kind. So what is it about numbers that weighs so heavily with us? Maybe numbers add extra pressure. I don't know. Like the pressure to do better, lose more weight, or eat less food.
Maybe numbers lend themselves to future obsessions like being extreme about cutting back on the number of calories or increasing the number of reps to maximize fat burning at an unhealthy rate or constantly checking the scale. How do numbers make you feel? Do you feel pressure when or if you focus on numbers as part of your process to healing from ED?
Numbers can discourage. There have been times when I've exercised rigorously for months only to step on the scale and see little to no change.
Anyway, if you find numbers to be heavy in your process, maybe focus on them less and focus on you more...your thoughts...your feelings and how good it feels just to move. Get lost in time if you can and allow the quiet stillness of your mind to take over. See how you feel afterwards. You may like it or you may not. Give it try. Explore. There will be days when I chose to count and there will be days when I allow myself to drift into mental stillness while moving. I like having the variations.
As always, onward and upward.
Company will be arriving soon. Better get ready. Take care my lovelies. Talk to you soon.
Spiritual Surrender
Psalm 118:5 (NIV) "In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."
What a wonderful day it has been. Last night was wonderful too. I did not eat, not even my snack and I didn't miss it. I felt so much peace. Peace be still...yes.
There are so many things going on in my head right now. I want to write about it all, but it's just to much to put into one post. Not to mention my thoughts are going so fast I can hardly keep up. I hope I don't bounce around to much in tonight's post. I'll try to stay focused so my thoughts don't wander off and drag me with them.
Did you listen to the guided mediation in last night's post? The relaxed feeling I got while listening to the video lingered into the rest of the night. After completing my post and closing out my day, I sat down to have a glass of wine and watch a little tv before bed. I finish one glass and pour another, which is still in the glass from last night. Sleep came upon me so fast and so hard that I had no choice but to surrender to it. All was still. No anxiety. No worries. No cravings. There was only blessed peace and sleep. It was wonderful. I can't remember having a night so peaceful. I hope to have many more nights like this.
I've been in a zen like mood all day today. It could be because I've surrendered...not talking about surrendering to sleep, even though that helps. I have surrendered all of my worries to Christ that I be more open and receptive to the grace God has given me through Christ. There are always things going on that are out of my control. As a Christian I'm supposed to know that I have a wonderful source who is God that I can go to anytime day or night. How many times have I read Psalm 55:22 (NIV) "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." I've read this verse many times and for a very long time I thought I was casting my cares on the Lord. I realized earlier this year that I wasn't. I was asking Him for help and continuing to worry because I needed to see some sort of solution. I needed to know that my problems would be solved and I needed to figure out how that was going to happen. I didn't trust God. I thought I did. There was no need to search for solutions when God already had solutions in place. I simply needed to trust Him, focus on the things of heaven, do what I am able to do and believe He will not forsake me.
Where do we go to learn how to trust God? Sure, we can go to church and attend all the bible studies. We can talk to fellow Christians who seem to have all the answers, but they still can't tell you how to trust God. They can only tell you to trust Him.
I learned the only way I could. I learned how to trust God by falling flat on my face, having no place else to go. I learned to hear His voice in the midst of deafening silence and fear. It took me learning how to take my mind off my problems without burying or abandoning them. It took me turning to God to say, I can't do it.
When I was first told to let go of my problems, I thought they meant for me to ignore them. I thought I was supposed to try focusing on other things like lessor problems or sit around licking my wounds while warding off ghosts of problems past. I was released from those notions when I read and meditated on Colossians 3:2 (NIV) 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. I read this verse everyday for several days until it stuck. Now when a problem arises, I pray about it and turn it over to God. To keep my focus on the things above I give thanks all through the day, everyday and I ask God to guide my steps throughout the day so my actions are fruitful and I accomplish what He has set for me to accomplish. It takes all of my energy to accomplish what needs to be done. That includes writing in my blogs. I don't have time to focus on problems as much anymore. Nor do I find myself stewing about something someone has said or done to hurt my feelings. I'm far to busy discovering the beautiful plan God has for me and releasing the rest. I am better able to see that my prayers are being answered now that my mind is not cluttered with problems and problematic situations. When things get real rough, I turn to God and I declare that I trust Him because He knows just what I need and He promised that He would take care of me.
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
First Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
It's amazing how God can work in our lives if we just let Him. I no longer select problems to turn over to Him. I give them all. I'm glad it finally sunk in to let go and to let God.
While perusing Youtube videos I came across The Ecstasy of Surrender - Dr. Judith Orloff. I heard about the book, but have not purchased it yet. I found her talk interesting. I like how she has an inclusive approach to the subject, meaning she applies more than just science. There are several talks with Dr. Judith Orloff. I chose this one because it was short, but still good. I hope you enjoy it.
Sunday Talk: The Ecstasy of Surrender - Dr. Judith Orloff at CSLseattle
What a wonderful day it has been. Last night was wonderful too. I did not eat, not even my snack and I didn't miss it. I felt so much peace. Peace be still...yes.
There are so many things going on in my head right now. I want to write about it all, but it's just to much to put into one post. Not to mention my thoughts are going so fast I can hardly keep up. I hope I don't bounce around to much in tonight's post. I'll try to stay focused so my thoughts don't wander off and drag me with them.
Did you listen to the guided mediation in last night's post? The relaxed feeling I got while listening to the video lingered into the rest of the night. After completing my post and closing out my day, I sat down to have a glass of wine and watch a little tv before bed. I finish one glass and pour another, which is still in the glass from last night. Sleep came upon me so fast and so hard that I had no choice but to surrender to it. All was still. No anxiety. No worries. No cravings. There was only blessed peace and sleep. It was wonderful. I can't remember having a night so peaceful. I hope to have many more nights like this.
I've been in a zen like mood all day today. It could be because I've surrendered...not talking about surrendering to sleep, even though that helps. I have surrendered all of my worries to Christ that I be more open and receptive to the grace God has given me through Christ. There are always things going on that are out of my control. As a Christian I'm supposed to know that I have a wonderful source who is God that I can go to anytime day or night. How many times have I read Psalm 55:22 (NIV) "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." I've read this verse many times and for a very long time I thought I was casting my cares on the Lord. I realized earlier this year that I wasn't. I was asking Him for help and continuing to worry because I needed to see some sort of solution. I needed to know that my problems would be solved and I needed to figure out how that was going to happen. I didn't trust God. I thought I did. There was no need to search for solutions when God already had solutions in place. I simply needed to trust Him, focus on the things of heaven, do what I am able to do and believe He will not forsake me.
Where do we go to learn how to trust God? Sure, we can go to church and attend all the bible studies. We can talk to fellow Christians who seem to have all the answers, but they still can't tell you how to trust God. They can only tell you to trust Him.
I learned the only way I could. I learned how to trust God by falling flat on my face, having no place else to go. I learned to hear His voice in the midst of deafening silence and fear. It took me learning how to take my mind off my problems without burying or abandoning them. It took me turning to God to say, I can't do it.
When I was first told to let go of my problems, I thought they meant for me to ignore them. I thought I was supposed to try focusing on other things like lessor problems or sit around licking my wounds while warding off ghosts of problems past. I was released from those notions when I read and meditated on Colossians 3:2 (NIV) 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. I read this verse everyday for several days until it stuck. Now when a problem arises, I pray about it and turn it over to God. To keep my focus on the things above I give thanks all through the day, everyday and I ask God to guide my steps throughout the day so my actions are fruitful and I accomplish what He has set for me to accomplish. It takes all of my energy to accomplish what needs to be done. That includes writing in my blogs. I don't have time to focus on problems as much anymore. Nor do I find myself stewing about something someone has said or done to hurt my feelings. I'm far to busy discovering the beautiful plan God has for me and releasing the rest. I am better able to see that my prayers are being answered now that my mind is not cluttered with problems and problematic situations. When things get real rough, I turn to God and I declare that I trust Him because He knows just what I need and He promised that He would take care of me.
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
First Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
It's amazing how God can work in our lives if we just let Him. I no longer select problems to turn over to Him. I give them all. I'm glad it finally sunk in to let go and to let God.
While perusing Youtube videos I came across The Ecstasy of Surrender - Dr. Judith Orloff. I heard about the book, but have not purchased it yet. I found her talk interesting. I like how she has an inclusive approach to the subject, meaning she applies more than just science. There are several talks with Dr. Judith Orloff. I chose this one because it was short, but still good. I hope you enjoy it.
Sunday Talk: The Ecstasy of Surrender - Dr. Judith Orloff at CSLseattle
We enjoyed eating leftovers today. There's still enough for tomorrow. This is great! Not having to cook is like being on a mini vacation. After tomorrow, it's back to the old grind. No need to get to used to having so many leftovers. I'm just happy that I'm doing as well as I am this season.
I wish I didn't make the rhubarb and apple crisp. We're not eating it. It's a little sweet for my taste and my son was not thrilled with it. We have company coming over tomorrow. Hopefully they will eat it up and if not maybe take the rest home.
I'm going to bed now. It's 3:56am. Goodnight. Talk to you soon.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Two Down One to Go
It's 12:12am. I've just finished cleaning the kitchen. There are leftovers which are all packaged and put away. My snack is waiting in the wings. So far I don't feel triggered by anything. Maybe it's because I'm still full from dinner. I'll do my workout and head to bed. I hope sleep takes over soon.
Made it through the second major holiday of the season. One more to go. It's been good so far. Nothing overwhelming. Looking forward to an outing tomorrow evening if all goes according to plan. We've been invited to go to a story telling and healing drum session. I've not been to a healing drum session before. I looked up healing drums on Youtube and found several videos on the subject. Some were okay and others left much to be desired. There was one that I found to be interesting. I didn't like it at first, but the longer I listened the more relaxed I became. Let me see if I can find it again and if so, I'll share it with you.
Well I couldn't find the video I was looking for, but I did come across another interesting video. As I listened to it I became very relaxed and fell right off to sleep. Not a deep sleep, because I'm sitting at my desk trying to finish this post. If I were in my bed I'd probably still be sleeping.
This video is a guided Christian meditation for deep relaxation. It's supposed to help with anxiety also. I'm not sure if it does, because I'm not having any issues with anxiety tonight. If any of you are feeling anxious or you just want to relax and get some sleep, give this video a try. It's best if you listen with headphones. If you are lying down while listening to this video, position the cord of your headphones in a safe position in case you fall asleep.
Well I'm off to carry on with my nightly routine. You know...the usual. I hope your day went well. Try to get some rest. I'll check in tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Made it through the second major holiday of the season. One more to go. It's been good so far. Nothing overwhelming. Looking forward to an outing tomorrow evening if all goes according to plan. We've been invited to go to a story telling and healing drum session. I've not been to a healing drum session before. I looked up healing drums on Youtube and found several videos on the subject. Some were okay and others left much to be desired. There was one that I found to be interesting. I didn't like it at first, but the longer I listened the more relaxed I became. Let me see if I can find it again and if so, I'll share it with you.
Well I couldn't find the video I was looking for, but I did come across another interesting video. As I listened to it I became very relaxed and fell right off to sleep. Not a deep sleep, because I'm sitting at my desk trying to finish this post. If I were in my bed I'd probably still be sleeping.
This video is a guided Christian meditation for deep relaxation. It's supposed to help with anxiety also. I'm not sure if it does, because I'm not having any issues with anxiety tonight. If any of you are feeling anxious or you just want to relax and get some sleep, give this video a try. It's best if you listen with headphones. If you are lying down while listening to this video, position the cord of your headphones in a safe position in case you fall asleep.
Well I'm off to carry on with my nightly routine. You know...the usual. I hope your day went well. Try to get some rest. I'll check in tomorrow.
Goodnight.
The Gift of Giving
Hey,
I wasn't sure if I'd get a chance to take a break and write a little something. It's 3:12am. I've just finished cleaning the kitchen and ready to settle down for the night.
Today has been a very good day. I spent most of the day reflecting, which is something that I do a lot this time of year. For me, the holiday season is not about all the fanfare. It's a time to regroup and reflect on the things accomplished this year and the things I want to accomplish next year. I don't mean New Year's resolutions. I don't do those. I'm just holding on to hope and planning to stay on track making progress in my spiritual walk and healthy life changes.
How are you? I know I ask often. Maybe one day you will answer me. I hope you are doing well and I hope have many wonderful, enjoyable experiences to focus on. We are having a few guests over and an outing. Today we had a lovely visit with a couple friends. Whenever we get together there's always a lot of laughter.
I cooked a little something for them to take home. Which they greatly appreciated. It's been a long time since they've had my cooking. You know...it's sweet little experiences like the ones we had today that set the tone for the season. I don't buy gifts or hang decorations. There's no tree twinkling or carolers singing. There's no endless list of things to do and most of all there's no stress. However, we spent a great portion of our day sharing a surplus of items with those in need. In turn they blessed my son with a new used office chair. It came right on time. His old chair was falling apart.
What's your favorite kind of gift? I like the kind of gift that keeps on giving. It doesn't require money. You don't have to hunt around for the perfect box to put it in. You don't need any giftwrap and it doesn't cost any money. And it's a gift that is suitable for all ages. What is it? Love. We give the gift of love and anything else that may accompany it is given out of love. That's it. That's what it's all about. The gift of giving is the giving of love. While we are in the gift giving mood, don't forget to give a little love to yourself.
I've finished cooking most of my dinner for tomorrow. We are continuing on the healthy track. We will be serving turkey, greens, turkey ham, potato salad, green beans w/tomatoes (spicy), acorn squash, stuffing, quinoa and cheese bake and maybe a small rhubarb and apple crumble. The jury is still out on desert. I cooked more this go round than last holiday because we are expecting more guests than originally planned. Like last holiday I put together a menu that has no triggers for me. Even though there is a strong possibility I may make a desert, if I do, it will indeed be very small. Just enough to get a taste or the equivalent of 3 small servings.
I'm tired, but I feel exhilarated. It's that bewitching time and I don't feel an urge to feed. My snack is in place and I am ready to go work out a little before falling into my bed.
I'll be thinking of you all and as always wishing you well. Stay focused on the positives and be sure to do something very nice for yourself. Happy Holidays to you! Good night.
I wasn't sure if I'd get a chance to take a break and write a little something. It's 3:12am. I've just finished cleaning the kitchen and ready to settle down for the night.
Today has been a very good day. I spent most of the day reflecting, which is something that I do a lot this time of year. For me, the holiday season is not about all the fanfare. It's a time to regroup and reflect on the things accomplished this year and the things I want to accomplish next year. I don't mean New Year's resolutions. I don't do those. I'm just holding on to hope and planning to stay on track making progress in my spiritual walk and healthy life changes.
How are you? I know I ask often. Maybe one day you will answer me. I hope you are doing well and I hope have many wonderful, enjoyable experiences to focus on. We are having a few guests over and an outing. Today we had a lovely visit with a couple friends. Whenever we get together there's always a lot of laughter.
I cooked a little something for them to take home. Which they greatly appreciated. It's been a long time since they've had my cooking. You know...it's sweet little experiences like the ones we had today that set the tone for the season. I don't buy gifts or hang decorations. There's no tree twinkling or carolers singing. There's no endless list of things to do and most of all there's no stress. However, we spent a great portion of our day sharing a surplus of items with those in need. In turn they blessed my son with a new used office chair. It came right on time. His old chair was falling apart.
What's your favorite kind of gift? I like the kind of gift that keeps on giving. It doesn't require money. You don't have to hunt around for the perfect box to put it in. You don't need any giftwrap and it doesn't cost any money. And it's a gift that is suitable for all ages. What is it? Love. We give the gift of love and anything else that may accompany it is given out of love. That's it. That's what it's all about. The gift of giving is the giving of love. While we are in the gift giving mood, don't forget to give a little love to yourself.
I've finished cooking most of my dinner for tomorrow. We are continuing on the healthy track. We will be serving turkey, greens, turkey ham, potato salad, green beans w/tomatoes (spicy), acorn squash, stuffing, quinoa and cheese bake and maybe a small rhubarb and apple crumble. The jury is still out on desert. I cooked more this go round than last holiday because we are expecting more guests than originally planned. Like last holiday I put together a menu that has no triggers for me. Even though there is a strong possibility I may make a desert, if I do, it will indeed be very small. Just enough to get a taste or the equivalent of 3 small servings.
I'm tired, but I feel exhilarated. It's that bewitching time and I don't feel an urge to feed. My snack is in place and I am ready to go work out a little before falling into my bed.
I'll be thinking of you all and as always wishing you well. Stay focused on the positives and be sure to do something very nice for yourself. Happy Holidays to you! Good night.
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