Post Thanksgiving: How Are You Doing?

Hey everyone. I wanted to touch base with you as we are in the full swing of the holiday season. How are you doing? Do you experience any particular difficulties this time of year? I for one tend to have some measure of depression linked to past holiday practices and urges to night binge. What helps me the most is realizing that I don't have to give into unfortunate or uncomfortable holiday traditions anymore.

There may be some of you who look forward to this time of year as a chance to step away from the mundane and delve into the wonderment of holiday folly and fare. I find a since of joy knowing that there are some who genuinely enjoy this time of year. Then there are those who hide their pain behind the perfectly basted turkey with all the trimmings, possession of super human stamina for the world's biggest shopping day and a meticulously mapped out plan on entombing their homes in miles and miles of twinkling lights. Nothing kills the holiday spirit like a sea of plastic smiles, empty compliments, idol chit chat and muffled sighs.

Are you one who is prone to continuing with traditions that may possibly trigger you just for the sake of looking normal? I used to. I would always give the excuse that I was on a diet so I could get away with eating very little during dinner. Later I'd be given all sorts of neatly packaged goodies in foil covered plates. Little did they know at least 90% of the food would be consumed later that night.

Binging during the holidays was the norm...the biggest binge session of the year. I'd be drunk with anticipation (chuckle), lost in planning the order in which I would eat my newly acquired morsels. End of the year holidays are the one time of year that you can have enormous amounts of food without question.  

Since beginning my quest for wellness I've stopped indulging in massive holiday binges. No more cooking and hording massive amounts of food. I keep things much more simple now. If there are plans to have company I make sure to cook an appropriate amount of food allowing enough to send home with friends and have some left for meals the next day. If we decide not to have company I'll prepare a few of our favorites, enough for two days. I don't bake a lot of deserts. Usually we have a friend make something like a pie or cobbler and I supply the ice cream. For me, deserts are hard to resist, so it's most beneficial to have access to as few sweets as possible.

I don't really care what people think of my changes. It's a matter of knowing my triggers and self preservation.

This year we were planning to have company even thought I didn't feel up to it. The day before Thanksgiving I made a call and opted out of the gathering. I was pleased to know that my intended guests were also not in the mood for holiday cheer. Relief. I prepared a couple Cornish hens, sweet potatoes, greens, and a little mac-n-cheese. That's it! Oh, and fruit for dessert if desired. It was a wonderful meal. Yes I had a late night snack, but did not binge. The next I took the remaining Cornish hen and made gravy and served the left over sides. My good friend also sent over some of the turkey she baked along with a small amount of baked mac-n-cheese.  The leftovers were wonderful. I reframed from preparing more food because I was able to see what we had as enough.

Today there is a small amount of gravy and a few morsels of Cornish hen left. I'm thinking about making a little brown rice and a small pot of green beans and that will be dinner. I feel good about not binging, especially since I've had several binges recently. I'm proud of myself.

Holidays and get-togethers are hard when combating eating disorders. Just take it one step at the time...I day at the time. It's okay if you need to hang out in smaller groups or with just one friend to avoid larger crowds and facing enormous amounts of food. Try not to stay to yourself during these hard times. Now is when support really comes in handy. It will benefit you greatly to spend time with someone who understands what you are going through. You'll need to be able to talk out your feelings with someone, cry, scream, whatever it takes to get the emotion out so you don't take it out on your body.

Huge hugs to all my sisters and brothers who are recovered, recovering or struggling with ED. My heart goes out to you as I keep you in my prayers.

I don't know what tomorrow brings, but I have hope that you know that you are not alone and that we can be here for each other. Take care, my friends. I'll check in again soon.