June 22, 2013

I’m doing fairly well this week. I’ve successfully eaten breakfast everyday since my last post and my night eating has decreased. Last night I woke up out of a sound sleep to get something to eat. I got the leftover mac-n-cheese from dinner. Thankfully it was not a lot, but enough to be of concern. One good thing, I am cooking less food for dinner so I won’t have so many leftovers. If I were to cook more I would more than likely hoarding a good portion of the meal for a later feed. Temptations...temptations. 

I went back to sleep after eating. Just before falling asleep, I remember having a slight craving for something sweet. I think I will increase my fruit intake today so it will combat any cravings for sweets foods. One less thing to worry about as night falls. That way if I do have “the hunger” it will not be doubly compounded by the savory and sweet aspect.

For breakfast today I had scrambled eggs with half of a chicken sausage and coffee. It is mandatory for me to have quick cooking foods for day time meals. If it gets too complicated I'll end up turning to high carb snack which leads to a bigger down spiral for night time.

 

For lunch I ate a piece of chicken. Not enough food...I know. For dinner I plan on having chicken with rice and veggies. I hope this will appease my hunger. It’s amazing how the hunger gets to you. It feels like a creeping fog that eventually catches you and engulfs you. I think my eating issues will bet much better as I continue working on healing from the trauma and abuse I endured for so many years. There is a distinct connection. I am also releasing emotions through my art and writing. Therapy is going well also. I’m doing everything I can to beat this thing and live free.

I am going to give myself a pat on the back for this week. I had another bout of stressful events, but I did not crumble as bad as I did last week. Point for me.

Onward and Upward!!!!

Slippery Slope

June 2013

Week 2

 

 I continue to assessing and documenting my life with NES, always keeping in mind that the struggle is ever present especially in the now.

I am a long way from combating Night Eating Syndrome. I’ve made great strides in accepting that I have this condition and am actively working towards a healthier life and lifestyle. My struggle with this disorder is more prevalent now because I am seeing the reality of it. Writing this blog is a way for me to relieve my mind of some of the facts and feelings associated with this disorder. This is my attempt at taking a stand and be accountable for my actions no matter the root source or the outcome.

I’ve been doing fairly well managing my NES this past year, much better than a few years ago. For the most part, I am able to consume more of my caloric intake before 7pm which is monumental for me. In the past my caloric intake was next to nil during the day. Even though I would start eating around 4:30-5:00pm, I would only take a few bites before hoarded the rest for later.

This week I have been experiencing a little more stress then my norm and I find myself reverting back to some of my old ways. I am picking up on a definitive pattern. The onset of binge eating tends to occur when stress levels are on the rise; daytime appetite decreases rapidly as I fast approach full binge mode, that is, if I’m not careful. Note to self…continue working on managing stress. Can’t stop stressors from occurring, but I can change how I deal with them. There is one good thing in all of this...I am identifying the problems and working towards correcting them. Besides, beating myself up about this is not going to help. Let’s face it, it took more than a day to develop this disorder and it’s certainly going to take more than a day to cure it.

My most recent binge happened a few days ago. I hoarded some food from dinner specifically to consume during late night hours. I was fully aware of what I was doing and proceeded anyway. The urge was strong and I gave into it. I did not want to fight it and possibly cause a bigger binge. That night, I tried several things to relax like playing music or writing. This helped for a while, but I still could not fight the urge to feed before sleeping.  So I did. I consumed the foods designated for my night time feed and then off to sleep I went. The next day, I forgetting to eat breakfast. I did not eat a morsel until about 2:30pm. Not good, but not my worst. Of course eating later in the day throws everything off. I still cooked dinner, but opted to eat much later than my new norm.

The next day, I didn’t eat anything until after 5pm. This is getting very bad. I’m heading towards a bigger binge. I can feel it. I have to get focused and get back on track with my eating. It is imperative. I can’t afford to continue going backwards. I’ve come too far and my health is on the mend. I don’t ever want to get as sick as I was before buckling down to combat this dreaded thing.

Since Friday, my stressful period has calmed and all is well. Yesterday and today I ate breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack. So far I do not have the urge to binge tonight. I've already put away the left overs from dinner. Now I’ve got to come up with a better strategy for maintaining a healthy eating plan during high stress times. I've really got my work cut out for me with this one.

There are slippery slopes on this journey and last week I slipped pretty hard. But I’m regaining my footing and so onward and upward…one step at a time…one day at a time.

Where do I begin?

A few years ago I was forced to make some hard decisions about my eating disorder, Night Eating Syndrome (NES).

At present time NES is not in the DSM IV/V.

The three main components identifying NES are Morning Anorexia, Night Binging and Insomnia. There is hope for us. Binge Eating Disorder recently added to the DSM-V under (EDNOS) Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified has given way to the possibility of two new additions to the DSM-V, Purging Disorder and NES.

I have been ignoring NES for 25 years. Three years ago my health took a turn for the worse. It quickly became evident that I needed to change my ways or else I would surely die. So I claimed my dirty little secret, frequent night time binges, and began looking into steps I could take to make positive life changes.

First steps toward recovery:

Acknowledge having an eating disorder.
Increase awareness of my own eating patterns. Note how I feel before/during and after meal times.
Identify possible beginning of NES behaviors.
Assess feelings, emotional state and reasoning behind late night eating.
Contact Psychologist to begin work on underlying issues.

No matter if you binged last week, last night or just a few minutes ago, it's not too late to get on the road to recovery.

 

 

Related Articles:

 

Night Eating Syndrome: Should it be Included in the DSM-V 

http://www.psychotherapybrownbag.com/psychotherapy_brown_bag_a/2009/10/night-eating-syndrome-should-it-be-included-in-dsmv.html

 



Night Eating Disorder
http://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/night-eating-syndrome

Issues for DSM-V: Night Eating Syndrome
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?articleID=99701